5 comments about The Dance of the Dissident Daughter: A Woman's Journey from Christian Tradition to the Sacred Feminine (Plus).

1. Sue Monk Kidd's journey resonates for me as I have long struggled with the way we tend to ignore or excuse the masculine priority that surrounds women's lives. Ms. Monk explores and ennunciates the "stacked deck" of everything from language and religion to the ingrained assumptions of women's secondary status in the world. True the balance has shifted somewhat, but as long as there are places where men have a "right" to beat their wives, where it is against the law for women to be educated, where it's a BIG DEAL to have a woman run for president, where we criticize a woman for being today's connotation of the word FEMINIST for speaking simple truths; we have a problem. Not one to be trivialized or ignored. Can you imagine the hue and cry that would erupt were we to refer to all humanity as "whitekind"? Ms. Monk is shining a light on the endemic prejudice women live with every day of their lives by sharing her journey, her questions, her fears, and confusion with us. I am grateful to her. I don't feel so alone.



2. Sue Monk Kidd expertly and openly shares her most intimate experience in finding the Divine in this well written and referenced personal account.



3. Finally, a book about the female goddess written by a woman with great knowledge and wisdom AND amazing research. The research allows us to believe that we are NOT being duped by a woman...like we've been duped by all the men.
   
   This is an excellent book with such profound insight into a woman's soul. Every woman should read this. Sue should write another book filled with even more research!!!



4. Sue Monk Kidd has created a beautiful masterpiece in Dance of the Dissident Daughter. Her personal and touching story of a woman who became slowly disillusioned with the male patriarchal church which surrounded her, and her own feelings of guilt and pain through her journey is intensely touching. So many novels treat these journeys as solitary paths that we can tread at our own pace, but Sue's real life story encompasses the realities of her husband, her children, and her extended family - and their reactions to her rejection of the tradition patriarchy that held sway over her. Her journey is an inspiration to us all, and should be read by men and women alike (men can and are oppressed by the patriarchy of the church, too!).



5. This is not THE SECRET LIFE OF BEES kind of book nor is it a recreational read. This is an account of Sue Monk Kidd's personal search for a spiritual place of belonging and peace. It resonanted with me at the point in my live when I read it, and it has many post-it note flags marking areas with special meaning.

5 comments about Edith Wharton (Vintage).

1. This biography of Edith Wharton features lots of detail, some newly presented, but not as much organization or insight as one would hope for. I wonder if Lee not being American was one reason for this: she can be excellent in some of her analyses--of some of Wharton's novels, especially of "Ethen Frome," for example--but doesn't seem to come to an overall understanding of Wharton that satisfies me. This is like some other biographies that are touted as "major" in that the biographer is piling up the details, but perhaps getting lost in them. Lee is a talented biographer, and she questions the accepted wisdom regarding some of the phases of Wharton's life, but this is not her best work. Still, she makes a good case for Wharton's strength of character and ability to deal with her life's difficulties while continuing to produce first rate work. Wharton's greatness as a writer is what we don't entirely see in Lee's account.



2. I recommend this book to anyone with an interest in E.W.'s fiction. I have read the previous reviews, which together give a very good idea of the scope of the book. In short, reading this will help the student of literature become better acquainted with the context of Wharton's work. Hermione Lee does a masterful job of weaving her analysis of Wharton's fiction into the biographical montage. I say montage because this book is not a chronological synopsis of E.W.'s life; rather, one has to wade through the chapters and sometimes backtrack to figure out where in time, exactly, Lee is pulling the reader. I relied on other sources to help with chronology in this case.



3. Edith Newbold "Pussy" Jones was born into a wealthy and socially prominent New York family in 1862. Her father was cold and distant. He was involved in real estate transactions. Her mother Lucretia was not a good mentor for her precocious bookworm daughter. Edith had two older brothers. Her childhood was lonesome punctuated by long trips to the cities of Europe (her father died in Cannes). Edith received no formal schooling but fed her retentive mind by study in her father's library. Wharton was a passionate reader and author from a very early age. She received no encouragement from her parents being married off to the much older Edward "Teddy" Wharton in 1885. Teddy was bipolar loving horses, drinkiing and playing cards with his buddies. Their marriage was a disaster ending in divorce after 25 years of life together. The couple were childless.
   Edith had a passionate affair at 45 with Morton Fullerton a newspaperman in Paris who had countless affairs. The couple never married but remained friendly until Edith's death in 1937.
   Edith was a Francophile who did a good deal of relief work during the first world war winning several honors from the French government. In politics she was conservative. Wharton was antisemitic, snobbish and looked down upon persons of color. She was a control freak who demanded excellence in her writing and life. Edith traveled widely for over 50 years staying in the best hotels; eating in great restaurants and exploring art museums, libraries and concerts. What a life of privilege!!!
   Wharton never married following the divorce from Teddy. Mrs. Wharton did have several lifelong male friends most notably Walter Barry the President of the Paris version of the US Chamber of Commerce. She was also friendly with novelist Aldous Huxley, art historian Bernard Bernson and several lady friends. The great novelist Henry James was her most famous literary pal. She is often compared to James in her writing style. Hermione Lee says as far as we know all of these friendships were platonic. Wharton's friendships were with the wealthy and artistic elite. The novelist was a consummate snob who was, nevertheless, viewed as being kind and loyal by her friends.
   Edith Wharton wrote many novels among the most famous being "The Custom of the Country"; "Ethan Frome"; "The Age of Innocence"; "Glimpses of the Moon" and "Summer". Wharton was a prolific short story author selling her tales to magazines. Her focus was on the wealthy. She dealt with marriage. incest, New York society and the the sexual mores of the well to do. She was disdained by the younger authors of the 1920s for being old fashioned. She wrote in an elegant style noted for its daring subject matter.
   Hermione Lee is the author of Virginia Woolf as well as this biography on Wharton. The book is 800 pages long dealing in incredible detail with such topics as:
   a. Wharton's love life and divorce from Teddy.
   b. Wharton's many gardens and her books on gardening.
   c. Close descriptions of all the fabulous homes Edith owned which are shown in several pictures included in the book.
   d A description of the most important travels Wharton made in her life.
   e. Short but well informed synopses and critical comments on her novels and short stories. We also get a glimpse of her poetry.
   f. Discussions of the lives of her closest friends.
   g. A loving review of Edith Wharton's World War I volunteer service to France.
   After finishing this book I admire Wharton for her dedication to the craft of novel authorship. Wharton was a woman of high standards and loyalty to her friends. She could be frosty but was kind. Her love for animals, friends in need and loving care for aging servants is commendable. Her snobbish disdain for those of different races or religions is not appreciated (She converted to Roman Catholicism in her last few years.). Wharton was a born storyteller who can still hold the interest of the modern reader.
   Hermione Lee is an excellent biographer who knows literature. Her biography of Edith Wharton is a wonderful book for those willing to devote the hours needed to read the lengthy text.



4. I just finished Hermione Lee's biography, which took me roughly a month to finish (I usually don't spend more than a few days on a book.), and its girth occasionally hurt my back. (That's a joke...) I have not read other biographies Lee has written (though I do own "Virginia Woolf", and was impressed with Lee's insight of Woolf on the DVD of "The Hours"), so I can't compare, but I gather the Virginia Woolf biography is very good. I have read other biographies of Edith Wharton; R.W.B. Lewis', and Cynthia Griffin Woolf's excellent "A Feast of Words", and Lee's is an exhaustive reiteration of much that has come before, with some subtle additions and revisions of thought. I have a new vision of Wharton during her "Neurasthenic" period, which struck her early in marriage. She gardened, wrote and traveled extensively, whereas I had the impression she was bed-ridden and slightly invalid. The life force of Edith Wharton appears to have been astonishing and exhausting. Very few of us would pass her formidable "muster", and I understand completely why Henry James labeled her "The Angel of Devastation" (Disappointing discovery that James was virulently anti-suffrage).
   
   The book is at times, dispassionately academic. It has moments, and at its best one has the sense that Lee is weaving, or knitting, a complete picture of who Edith Wharton might actually have been. Yes, there are some things we will never know, but I get the idea. Some chapters moved along briskly, other didn't (for me). The chapter called "Italian Backgrounds" is loaded with minute detail about those kinds of gardens and Wharton's interest in them (as you would guess from the title). I'm not a gardener, however, and found myself losing interest - there is A LOT of description of Italian Gardens. Illustrations would have helped (me). I did enjoy HL's analysis of EW's Italian novel "The Valley of Decision" (the book is completely worth it for the analysis of the Wharton's writings. I wish Penguin, or N.Y.R.B, or Vintage would publish an affordable and attractive edition of "The Valley of Decision") As another reviewer observed, the book does get bogged down with detail from time to time. While I certainly couldn't write such a book (I disagree with the assertion that it was not well researched, on the contrary, the research seems dizzying and at the very least thorough: nothing is perfect.), I'm impressed that Hermione Lee did.
   
   Wharton comes across as delightfully bitchy with the upper classes. The Breakers is described as a "Thermopylae of Bad Taste". Mrs. Wharton, on a tour of a wealthy acquaintances' home, was informed that this was the woman's "Louis Quinze Room", to which Mrs. Wharton replied, looking about through her lorgnette, "Why, my dear?" (Her knowledge of architecture and historical interiors was encyclopedic, and would currently entitle her to a Masters Degree. She would have several, in fact... and a Doctorate or two.) In a letter she stated that an unnamed party "...decided to have books in their library." Her story "The Line of Least Resistance" borrowed too closely from an angered Emily Sloane's personal life, and Ogden Codman may have summed up Edith best saying, " Poor Pussy is of course very unpopular... she goes out of her way to be rude to people."
   
   Most familiar with EW know how involved she was with the building and all details of each new Wharton residence, and there were many. One of the virtues of Lee's book is that we get a complete view of events; the timelines, the day-to-day occurrences in the process (es), also the transgressions (notably with Ogden Codman and the building of the Mount.) It is clear that Edith (or "Puss") wore the pants in the family. Teddy comes across as an affable, but slightly bumbling, "Club" man of the "Old Chap" sportsman type. He was not intellectually inclined, and hopelessly mismatched with the polar opposite Edith Jones.
   
   The latter half of the book is dedicated to Wharton's life in France; her affair with Morton Fullerton, homes in the Rue De Varenne (and social place in The Faubourg.), and of course her valiant, tireless war work, all covered in great detail. Interesting that Proust may have been a translator of "The House of Mirth", and though she and Proust were many times over connected socially, they never met. The pairing is a no-brainer, and bearing in mind Wharton's conscious or unconscious predilection for homosexual companions (Henry James, Andre Gide to name a few - even her passionate mid-life love affair was with the prodigiously bi-sexual Fullerton), it's possible that Proust and Wharton would have been great friends, though Lee points out that Proust was primarily interested in Countesses. When read together "The House of Mirth", "The Custom of the Country" (read it if you haven't - it's one of EW's most satisfying, ruthless, and well-written novels.), and "The Age of Innocence" (more sublime with every reading), could be compared to Wharton's miniature version of Proust. Have your French dictionary ready though, as there is much quotation of letters written in French with minimal translation - another category (like architecture, and gardening) in which Lee assumes her reader has a working knowledge.
   
   I had hoped there might be more information about Wharton's frosty mother Lucretia, and Edith's relationship with her. Lee points out that little written material relating to her parents has survived. However, Lee suggests that Wharton's own haughty nature may have been an inherited trait of Mama, and that "Lu" is front and center in many, many instances of Wharton's writing. Wharton was candid in her version of her mother. I wonder if it ever occured to her that she may have been more similar to Lucretia than different. (Perhaps Lily's mother in "The House of Mirth", who expresses distaste at people who "live like pigs" is a sketch of Lucretia Jones) It's been commonly thought that Lucretia had Edith's young poetry published in a volume titled "Verses" in Newport, but it was more likely her more intellectually sympathetic fathers's doing. Which makes more sense, as one pictures the exasperation Mother must have felt with the bafflingly intelligent Edith - forcing Mama to entertain her friends while the child is seized with the urge to "Make-Up" (write stories)
   
   All in all, "Edith Wharton" is an exhaustively researched biography of considerable merit. There were sections that moved ahead with full steam, and some that sort of drag (for me) and need to be plowed through in order to finish, but I certainly don't resent the information. For the most part it has beautifully "woven" quality about it. It does seem that it would benefit with more editing; the amount of smaller (I hesitate to say lesser) detail is mind numbing. Her great friendship with Henry James is beautifully documented. Included is the account of the elaborate hoax she and James New York publisher orchestrated in order to give James a generous advance on a future book (meant to bolster his flagging self-esteem), which was really just a very generous monetary gift from Edith. The analysis of stories and novels is excellent, and well worth the price of admission. I read in an interview of Hermione Lee that she felt she would not be thought "smart enough" if she were actually able to meet Edith Wharton. Perhaps the length and breadth stems from that thought, that she is writing to prove herself worthy of her subject. I think Ms. Lee may rest easy with her next subject: she is a perfectly capable biographer.
   
   Also recommended: Cynthia Griffin Wolff's "A Feast of Words", a tightly written compellingly analyzed study of Mrs. Wharton



5. I plowed through the first fifty pages or so before putting this book aside in digust. Topics are introduced, dropped, revisited, then dropped again at random, adding to both the page count and the reader's confusion. Simple facts are wrong -- Lee states that The Breakers, the Vanderbilt home in Newport, cost $200 million to build, when in fact the estimates for the cost are closer to $7 million. ( If Lee can make a whopper like that, I start to question every other statement of fact.) Her aunt Elizabeth's Hudson River home is Wyndeclife, not Wyndeliffe. And as a long-time New Yorker familiar with all the geography of Manhattan, I also started to wonder if Lee ever actually walked the sites she talks about. West 14th Street isn't now, nor was it ever, considered Gramercy Park!

5 comments about A Three Dog Life.

1. abigail Thomas lets us glimpse her life just when it's unraveling, and never tugs at our heart. what a funny, moving, and ultimately uplifting story of grief and adversity. Those dogs--- you just want to rub their heads. or,a s Thomas does so often, curl up with them for an afternoon nap. A wonderful book.



2. This was my first Kindle book and I finished it within a couple days which is good for someone as busy as myself. A Three Dog Life is an easy read in which you find yourself laughing, crying, and unable to put down. I read when I only had minutes left on a lunch break, but a few paragraphs at a time was all I needed to keep pulling me through. It is a great book, and reminds us all of our human condition and how one woman dealt with the hand she was given. Beautiful and I could easily see this as a movie. I rarely read a book twice, but I know I could easily go right back and re-read. There is a lot to say for that! Get this book, read it, you won't be sorry!



3. The first word that comes to my mind when I finished this book is elegant. It is very elegant and lyrical. It is written with a wry sense of self and with gentle humor. I love memoirs if they are well-written and without a sense of whining that a lot of authors tend to do while writing about their lives. This book has no sense of whining nor self-pity. It just is. It happened and it just is.
   
   This is an accounting of a woman who comes onto the street to see her husband lying there with his head literally cracked open. Her life has changed in that instant. Her husband, Rich, had been walking the dog when the dog broke free and went into the heavy traffic. Rich chased him only to be run down by a car. His short-term memory was lost and in the five years after, Thomas writes about various things relating to her relationship with her husband. She writes about grieving. She writes about her dogs and how they've helped her remain sane. She writes about moving to live closer to the long-term facility where Rich lives. She writes poignantly about life, love, grief, acceptance and joy.
   
   This is by far the least depressing memoir I have ever read. It is beautiful, achingly so. I would have never picked up this book if it weren't for my parents who sent it home with me. I have never really heard of it. If you like memoirs, you will love this one. Even if you're not a fan of memoirs, you will still like this one simply because of the elegant essays she has written. And you will find that you relate to them simply because you are human.
   
   4/26/08



4. If you like memoirs you will love this one. I certainly did. The author's style makes very real the feelings she is sharing. Her observations of her life , it's unexpected turn, and her honest reactions to that are not sentimental, rather one's the reader can truly identify with. She alows herself to be honest and vulnerable.



5. Abigal Thomas has a beautiful way of writing that will make you laugh and cry. She is brutally honest about all of the emotions she felt during a difficult and tragic time in her life. I plan to read all of her books.

5 comments about Rockabye: From Wild to Child.

1. I have been reading the authors blog for a few years now. I was very excited to finally read her book. It was a real journey. You are taken to highs and lows and lots of laughs along the way. I read this book in a matter of hours. I highly recommend this book. Especially to newer moms. She tells it like it is.



2. Awesome, great fast read that is very easy to relate to. The truthful heart warming tale of a new mother and her choices and battles.



3. Following Rebecca's blogs for several years now, I thought this was going to be a compilation of her now-famous posts. However, 2 chapters in and I couldn't put it down. In today's society, where raising a child is scrutinized on the internet, T.V, by the evil Nancy Grace and even on the playground by Mom's clubs, Rebecca let's us future moms know it's O.K to go by instinct. To not pay attention to the "norms" and the "should be at this stage when they are xx months old". To really follow your heart. To know it's O.K to break down, and that its hard and that's OK to admit. This book really spoke to me and the style of writing makes the book hard to put down. It comes to life and warms the heart. My only disappointment-that it came to an end!



4. I loved this book! I really enjoyed the refreshing perspective of a unique and clearly special author and mother. I totally recommend it (and my husband does too!)



5. I have been a fan of Girl's Gone Child, Rebecca's blog, for quite some time. I jumped at the chance to read more when she published Rockabye, and I finished it in 3 days. Although I was not wild like Rebecca and my pregnancy was planned, I found parenthood to be such a force in life that it took me by surprise anyway.
   
   Rebecca somehow captures what it's like to be a new parent, trying to remember who you were pre-child while living up to your own expectations of what it means to be a good parent. She shares her vulnerability with the reader, and at the same time projects her confident and uplifting attitude, encouraging all of us to take charge of our lives no matter how the changes came about.

5 comments about Come Back: A Mother and Daughter's Journey Through Hell and Back.

1. This story saddened, surprised, shocked and touched me. When my book club read this early last year, I wasn't able to attend, so I shelved the book. Am I glad I dedided to pick it up a year later. I feel like I learned a lot about relationships from hearing this mother/daughter story. It reminds us all to hope and stay strong in any family crisis because afterall, blood is thicker than water!



2. A very emotional book about a mother daughter relationship. Its shocking and beautiful. You'll never forget this book. Moderate read, not hard just long.(took me about 3 days)



3. I found the book to be a very good read. A young troubled girl who runs away and does drugs in order to escape the memories and nightmares of abuses from a father's hands. A mother who will stop at nothing to help her daughter return to her as the loving child she wants so hard to remember. The catch is, you never really like or understand the mother's point of view.
   
   She "forgets" that a therapist tells her that when the daughter becomes a teenager, the memories and emotions will begin to have an effect on the daughter again? How does a mother "forget" this kind of statement. Then she send her daughter to a school in a foreign country that will not give her any indication of how their system works other than "we use points and levels." The school tells her to EXPECT letters saying there is abuse and torture and not only not question those claims, but ignore them all together. The mother blindly believes the school and waits for them to correct her child with no parent/child counseling.
   
   Let's not forget the seminars for the parents. The participants must be seated after the music is turned off (much like a game for elementary age children). They must never question the leader (much like what we expect from elementary age children)- or they can but get some circular reason why the leader is correct. They must "stare" at other participants without looking away, cannot takes notes, and must share intimate secrets with other participants (that they have known for less than a few hours). Then they are sent home too exhausted to think about the day and come back for the next day and the next day of more insanity.
   
   Identical seminars on done with the children. Who are too young to even question the "theraputic" qualities of the sessions. I do, however, find the daughter to be very likable and can see how she could view the schools as symbolic parents (as they actually spend time with the child and show some sort of discipline). Although, I do wonder about the child near the end that leave in "The Hobbit". (A small prison-like room that reminds me of Cool Hand Luke. I suppose the girl in-prisoned had a "failure to communicate" with the staff.)
   
   The book was more believable as a fiction (and quite a good read when viewed that way.) But the thing I most got out of the book, is the hours spent on the internet looking up Morova, Spring Creek and their sister schools. (I viewed a very interesting documentary by the Montana PBS station - Who's Watching the Kids.) Although you can't believe everything you read on the anti-wilderness school sites, I'm not sure you can believe everything you read in this book, either.



4. This book opened my ignorant eyes. I had no idea there were rehabilitation centers like the places in this book. These facilities blew me away, especially the teachers, counselors, psychologists, and social workers. Fantastic. Absolutely brilliant.
   
   This is a story about a mother-daughter relationship, disgusting fathers who sexually abuse their daughters, daughters who become drug addicts, mothers who think they can make it all better, and in the end, realizing the only way out is to simply let go...allowing the victim to choose to heal themselves, survive themselves, transform themselves.... and live.
   
   But letting go is like falling off a cliff or jumping off a ledge...the unknown can be unbearable. But the reader will realize, this is exactly what this mother must do to save her daughter. Sometimes letting go--- is the only way one can finally live. But what one never lets go of is LOVE.



5. This book was a wake-up call for me because when things get bad, things are always worse for somebody else in the world. That is a very easy thing to forget and I once again realized I was guilty for taking my own reality for granted. A good recommedation for those who draw a line between fate and miracles.

5 comments about Things We Couldn't Say.

1. The true story of true Christians, and Dutch patriots, Diet Eman and Hein Sietsma, and their courageous risk of everything to resist Nazi tyranny and hide thousands of Dutch Jews.
   True Christians always love the Jewish people and Israel, and true nationalists are opposed to both Communism and Nazism, both the antithesis of national self-determination.
   Diet recounts her own life, and experiences and what she saw and heard, as well as her deep faith in G-D, that guided her in all she did and thought.
   Diet recounts her experiences in Scheveningen prison, where she describes how Jewish families, who were caught in hiding, were hauled into the prison, mothers, fathers and children: 'On the nights the guards brought Jews in, we always heard the children crying all through that place. It was bad enough for us to have to suffer through a place, like Scheveningen, but it was terrible to hear those poor innocent children crying.'
   It is up to true Christians and righteous gentiles to stand by the State of Israel today, in the struggle for her survival and that of her children, against the monstrous Islamic-extreme leftist hate machine.



2. Excellent book. The book is fast paced, exciting and touching.
   
   The risks and sacrifices that the author and her fiance went through for their beliefs and for unkwown people amazed and inspired me. Highly recommended.



3. The account of the author and her experiences fighting the German occupation of Holland during WWII is harrowing. It is hard to imagine that any human being can display so mush courage at such a young age.



4. I have read more than 75 books of this genre depicting this period of history. "What would I have done under the same circumstances?" That is the question I am always asking of myself whilst reading these stories. This is the story of a group of people with the courage of their convictions...Diet's story is inspiring and touching. It illustrates perfectly that the power of prayer is undeniable and when 'all one can do is pray' one has done everything.



5. Diet Eman was a young dutch woman during WWII in Holland. Her and her fiance were involved in the Dutch resistance movement. They helped Jews find homes/families to hide with in the Dutch countryside. This was a huge undertaking that required much teamwork. (For instance, the families that took in Jews would need extra ration cards to buy more food. Extra ration cards would have to be obtained and delivered to these families.) Diet literally rode hundreds (probably thousands!!) of miles on bicycles during the war coordinating this effort to keep Jews hidden in the countryside.
   
   As Diet tells her story, there are frequent excerpts from the personal diary she kept during the war. And excerpts from postal letters she either sent or received during the war. This helped give the book a very "real" feel...You experience her first hand emotions and thoughts as these events were actually taking place.
   
   Diet had a strong Christian faith. Her spiritual insights are deep and powerful. Her faith sustained her during this troubling time in history.
   
   Diet was eventually caught by the Nazis and spent time in a jail and a concentration camp. She was briefly at the same camp as Corrie TenBoom, author of The Hiding Place. Diet survived, but her beloved fiance died in a concentration camp.
   
   I highly recommend this book. Not only is it an exceptional historical account of life during WWII, but the spiritual (Christian) thoughts in it are very profound. While Diet was living through this horrific time period, the spiritual thoughts she recorded in her diary are incredibly mature. She was so young (early 20's) but was advanced beyond her years with spiritual perception. Her faith influenced her every thought.

5 comments about Falling Leaves: The Memoir of an Unwanted Chinese Daughter.

1. This book was beautifully written and gripping from the start. The reviewer who complained of Adeline's "whining" tone, is being unfair. I don't see her as whiny, but rather somewhat detached as she recounts the emptiness of her childhood. In fact, I want her to scream and kick and rebell, maybe even whine, yet she does none of that. Whining is even more emotion than I think she allows herself to feel. She endured a childhood with certain material wealth but vastly lacking in emotional wealth.
   Adeline takes the emotional abuse because she knows nothing else. Her father is the true villain for caring more about his trophy wife than his own family's happiness. He is oblivious to his children's emotional needs. He disappoints more than the stepmom for choosing to abandon children that he chose to bring into the world. He manipulates and plays them one against the other for his own selfish desires.
   After long periods of thinking about this book, I've come to my own understanding of why she managed to salvage a happy life out of such a miserable upbringing. It is the very belief, albeit blatently false, that her family would one day accept her, that makes her continue to push for their love and not give up. Children are frequently unable to find fault with their loved ones. It is that very "innocence" that protected her from worse harm, the knowledge that acceptance would never, ever, be forthcoming.



2. The heartbreaking story of an unwanted, abused, neglected child who never ceases to try and earn her family's affections. If you have ever experienced these feelings,no matter what your race, you will LOVE this book. It moved me to tears and I could not put it down once I started reading it.



3. ...with that whine? Self serving, whiney, horrible. I just don't get it. No comparison to anything by Frank McCort, Amy Tan or anyone like them.



4. Adeline Yen Mah, the youngest daughter of a prominent chinese businessman and his young half-chinese, half-french new wife, shows a poignant and vivid picture of life as a most unwanted Chinese daughter growing up during the cultural revolution in mid- 20th century China. Despite horrible mistreatment and abuse by her step-mother, Yen Mah slowly flourished from a sad, quiet girl to a successful physician living in the United States because of the love and encourgement of one unempowered Aunt. A heartwrenching read, this autobiography is proof that even when 'bad things happen to good people', knowing one has done the 'right thing' is priceless indeed.



5. this book is well written, and didn't take me too long to get through. mah retells her fascinating story, and includes descriptions of the events in China at that time (the Communist take-over). it is a sad story of family relations gone bad as she tries desperately for her family to come together.

5 comments about If I Am Missing or Dead: A Sister's Story of Love, Murder, and Liberation.

1. This is a really great read. I'm an avid reader and I really enjoyed the validation and lessons to be gained from someone being courageous enough to share their personal story of Domestic Abuse.
   
   Not only does it speak to the heartbreak of losing a sister in such a horrifying and violent way, it also speaks to the subtle progression of emotional abuse. The manner in which some people in our lives can manipulate our thinking and self esteem over time is horribly heartbreaking as well.
   
   The letter that Amy wrote "If I am missing or Dead" is an example of how many times we have an instinct about people and things in our lives that are dangerous or not healthy, unfortunately when we are being manipulated by emotional abuse, we question that internal warning.
   
   I hope this book helps many to listen to their instincts and have the courage to get out of relationships that are damaging to their souls and lives. I also hope this book inspires people who are around victims of abuse to reach out to help them.
   
   Thanks to Janine Latus for having the courage to share such an emotionally personal, and tragic story.



2. I read this book while travelling by plane, i could not put the book down. this is one of the best writings i have ever read. this book needs to be read by every woman who has had any struggles in life. so much of the book related to my own life, i felt as if she were writing about me. if this book is read by one woman, and it helps her through trials in her life, and/or saves her some of the agony she is going through, janine latus has done the world a huge favor. at times this book brought to my mind times exactly like she described, and i recommend this book to every single woman out there to read, and reread again. it is the best book i have ever read and i admire janine latus for her candid expression of writing, and for having the courage to tell her story in an effort to help other women. janine, you are the best. great writing, wish you would write another. angie piontkowski



3. I have to first comment on all of the people who are having problems with the title; the title clearly states "A Sisters Story..." which is what the story is; it is a memoir. It is Janine's story of abuse, as a primer to abuse in general, culminating in the parallel life of her sister and her tragic demise. This book is not intended to be a murder mystery, but rather to illustrate the depths of abuse and the psychology behind people who exist in these relationships for extended periods of time. Obviously she could not write first person from Amy's story anyway.
   If I hear one more person say "why don't they just leave" I'll scream; and this book helps break that particular barrier down, even if it is just by a bit. We cannot solve the issues of domestic abuse, or even begin to help the women who are being abused, until we stop blaming them for being in the relationship and start listening to their stories.



4. This is book is for every woman who has been told along the way they are not smart enough, pretty enough, strong enough... enough. Although the abuse both women suffered was different, it was as poisonous and dangerous. Janine survived. This book was wonderfully written and I could NOT put it down. I am still walking around with the sisters in my head and heart days later. It has made me more determined to find my way and teach my son and daughter that they can do anything, be anything and are more than enough!



5. The book was interesting but not so much the writing. I was surprised since the author is a journalist. The book focuses on the author and not the missing sister. While the author's life was interesting, the book wasn't a challenging read and lacked a good thread to the sister's life. The reader is left wondering if the sisters were really that close.

5 comments about Fabulosity: What It Is & How to Get It.

1. Not much to say, but "fabulosity" is what it is! Kimora, thank you for contributing to society in many positive ways! Readers: Buy it and review it for yourself.



2. This book definitely reminds us of some good advices we typically tend to forget. It can in fact help you gain some confidence. It's also pleasant and easy to read.
   Nevertheless, I think that it would have been much nicer in a more concise form as, right now, it's really a "girly girly" book, which rather promotes its author, more than anything else.



3. Well, first off, I had always been captivated by Kimora, and figured if anyone knows about being fabulous and could teach us a thing or two, it would be her. But after a couple chapters into the book, I felt that this was more about her out to clearly promote a certain image of herself, one apart from Russell, that she wants us all to have for some reason.... (grooming us for the ensuing divorce from him?).
   She carefully monitored her words through this,& repeatedly pounded an image she wanted to project of having "already made it big" in her teenage years WAAAY before her marriage to Russell Simmons. Oddly, the only reference of a modeling year that she refers to several times in the book was ..."when she was 13" . She made sure to try and appear to keep it real by injecting some experiences of human vulnerablity, and gave a few small glimpses (detailed descriptions) of her monied world, but spent much time referring back and repeating about this "great and extensive European $50k-a week modeling career" she supposedly had through high school, and how she learned to: live on her own in France, smartly taking control of her finances, conduct herself in business, and handle life's lessons...all at the age of 13! Hardly believable. Then looking at the provided photos in the book, I found it very curious that there was only 1 of her (pre-Russell Simmons) modeling years, a United Colors of Benneton ad, where she looks like an average pug-nosed teenager. So I Googled about 50 pages of Images for her and still found NOTHING of any modeling photos of her in that decade before marrying him. It seemed clear that her real objective for writing the book was to convince everyone that she had "made it" way before Russell Simmons came into her life, which I dont think anyone really cares (nor believes). I'm sure she was beautiful and fabby when they met, and Russell married her and elevated her into his monied life...so what?
   Now, I am interested and intrigued in the opulence of the rich & famous like anyone else, and I love to hear the anecdotes of the successsful, but Kimora just doesnt appear to really have any real depth from life's lessons to offer us, in that she went from being basically a teenager to marrying Russell. Its easier to be beautiful and fabby with lots of money, and obviously any of her hardships were always easily overcome with their money. She didnt present anything that showed real blood sweat and tears about her life, or any profundity. I would have rather have just read the truth from her and been intrigued by the power of money to solve problems, and the fun it can bring to a girl's life. Russell would probably have given us something with much more redeeming value if HE wrote the book!
   With the Baby Phat business, I'm sure she certainly must have gone through the guts of up-starting a business, but once again, the obstacles hurdled and the resolutions implemented took money to get through, (which she had, and which she did successfully), and so nothing inspiring there. Basically after reading completely through the book, I got the impression that she was still rather immature and a still-self absorbed game playing girly-girl for one now in her mid 30's. There ARE some good, inspiring quotes that she includes from other celebrities, like: "The thing women have yet to learn is no one gives you power, you just take it"(Roseanne Barr). These made me want to read books by THOSE people. Overall, I came away feeling that Kimora is highly calculative and probably thinks most of her readers were pretty easy to manipulate. There was some amusing things in there, but she doesnt really give of herself genuinely. If anyone, I think this book is best suited for early 20-somethings, who want to learn how to present a certain image, and possibly maximize their potential opportunities in the business world, or if you just want to become more intrigued by Kimora's self-promotion. Not really for a more matured (not talking 'old' here)audience that is already comfortable in their own skin, but are just looking for some profundity and inspiration for an elevated "image makeover" out of the soccer-mom lifestyle.



4. Since watching her show, 'Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane" on the Style Network, I've become an avid fan of the self-styled, self-proclaimed diva. In the spirit of all things fabulous, I decided to purchase the book thinking it would be as fun and as over-the-top as its spirited author. I was not disappointed. With that said, the book, which the author hopes will serve as a self-help manual-- one that gets you in touch with your inner diva (Be yourself but be a slave to fashion as well.) -- is far too self serving for Simmons, an owner of a clothing/style empire. The message is possibly damaging to her young urban audience who need more lessons on the important of education and the delay of gratification than what shoes go with what purse.



5. This was a wonderfullly written book. It truly teaches women to put themselves first, but still being true to your family.

5 comments about Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith.

1. I love Anne Lamott and this book is no exception. As always, she writes with honesty and humor about her everyday experiences. She helps me see the lighter and darker side of Christianity and life in general. I can relate to her foibles and rejoice with her in her human triumphs. I'm glad for Christian writers who I can relate to-not holier than thou, never make a mistake writers. I won't mention names. This book was a blessing.



2. I adore this woman for her faith, her wit and her unbelievable ability to keep on "keepin on" but the politics in this book just about drove me over the edge. I know, I know... to love Annie is to expect her political rantings. I kept reading and I did gleam little nuggets here or there of the Annie I know & love. It was worth the read, if only I could fast forward some of the politic heavy chapters.



3. Anne Lamott is back in all of her glorious humor, angst, and wisdom. If you haven't discovered Anne yet, she is shock therapy for those of us who learned how to be religious before we learned how to be human.
   
   In Traveling Mercies, Anne shared her crooked journey through alcoholism, bulimia, and broken relationships to a connection with St. Andrews Presbyterian Church and Jesus. Now, in Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith, Anne shares the new challenges to her faith: The Bush Administration, her aging mother, menopause, the losing friends to illness, teaching Sunday School, and raising her teen-aged son, Sam. While many of her crises in Plan B are stock milestones of middle age they are no less poignant when rendered by Anne's pen.
   
   Anne's power comes from her unflinching authenticity, a scarce quality in the self-serving industry of memoir writing. Anne describes her life has it happens, without bothering to airbrush away her neurotic impulses and imperfections. Her self-depreciating humor and honesty creates a picture of spirituality reminiscent of Dostoevsky; we are all simultaneously noble and depraved. As I read Plan B, I laughed with Anne at her foibles and became more honest about my own.
   
   Anne Lamott, along with Fredrick Buechner, might be the best living Christian Author that you can't find at a Christian book store. Anne elevates cursing to a literary art form. More significantly, Anne is openly pro-choice and pro-gay rights. She addresses God as a feminine being. Some readers might balk at her left-wing politics. However, I'd challenge any reader to see Anne as more than the sum of her politics and ideas. Reading anything by Anne Lamott creates the opportunity to remember that God wills and works through your bad attitudes, flawed character, and humanity. Wading through Anne's positions is worth any personal risk you might feel. Encountering her writing style is a joyous experience and you'll bump into God's grace as often as you will step in piles of human frailty.
   
   Anne is back and triumphant.



4. Traveling Mercies ranks as one of my favorites. Though my political viewpoint is quite different from the authors, her insights that illustrate how you could work around your own bias and experience the holy in your own human failings was totally up my alley.
   
   I was sorely disappointed by the venom that whacks you upside the head shortly after opening the book. I guess loving your neighbor as yourself only applies to those folks whose politics are not too far off from your own.
   
   I had to get it returned before it tainted my love of her other books. If it were not for those other writings I would have rated this book NO stars! I pray that her next offering will be more about faith than hate.



5. Refreshing, honest, and a lyric writer, Anne Lamott is a wonderful discovery. These three books, "Traveling Mercies," "Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith", and "Grace (Eventually) Thoughts On Faith" are the best books I've read all year! I don't think it matters if you are Christian or not, because her books are about her journey from alcoholism and drug addiction, to a discovery of a God of unconditional Love that speaks to everyone.
   
   Wonderful, exhilarating stories and writing!