5 comments about Prime Green: Remembering the Sixties (P.S.).

1. I was very much looking forward to this book as there haven't been many good ones written on the subject. I was disappointed however, that the author made it more about himself and his experiences during that time. He didn't really tie these experiences into the cultural phenomena that was happening. I was more interested in how he saw the overall picture. How has the culture shifted? What were the redeeming qualities? What went wrong? Why hasn't anything like this occurred since? I wanted a more sociological perspective as seen through one person's eyes....a lofty order, but that's what I was hoping to read. It was a well written book however, and I enjoyed it.



2. Prime Green is a drug term written by a former hippie apporpriately named Stone. Marijuana was called grass in the '60s culture. This was the age of Aquarious when Charles Mansion controlled a commune of misguided "lost" young people in Southern California by providing drugs and sex (called "free love" back then) all of which ended in several murders. It is thought that many more were killed by this group and things are in the works to locate more remains at the ranch where they hid after the Sharon Tate murder. One of his "girls" even attempted to kill the president of the United States.
   
   Robert Stone would have fit right in with this group with the exception of his military training and travel abroad. He's led a regimental enclosed life as one of the crew under the incomparable William Anderson of Tennessee, as they maneuvered under the frozen antarctic region in a U. S, submarine. He walked freely dow the boulevards of France before 'Nam. That's when he turned to hippie life to put the atrocities of that war deep down in his subconscious. At Stanford, he discovered other damaged "students" who made a cross-country trip to New York to the World's Fair. As they traveled in an old weirdly-painted school bus, the hippies became gypsies.
   
   He included some names of people who became prominent in diverse fields. Coming from New Orleans, Bub was not a leader of the group but a follower, an observer who took creative writing and now forty years later can recount in some detail how life was in the '60s. Although he's older than I, our existences at that time were polar opposites. I think back to the small church college and decide it had been my salvation from that kind of life of spiritual deprivation. There were such people there but the Southern tradition with its ethical rules forbade any public displays. This was Pleasantville on the surface, no Peyton Place until later and the hippies from Sommertown came over to work on some of the old buildings. No uprisings and Ross Bass, our Senator, used the rural small town for a peaceful integration (in schools only). We were the example of doing things right. We did not live in reality but with a colorful past had to lead the rest of the country, for political reasons.
   
   In the Johnson era of bathroom legislating, the sixties were lost time for me, and so I thought this Prime Green (for grass) memoir would enlighten me. I spent all of my prime years raising my two children to be good citizens. The '60s were not a pleasant time to remember, but perhaps it wasn't all bad.



3. The author writes about his life with honesty and surprising detachment and fairness, and the life is notable, and he was in many critical places for the upheaval in the 1960s - with Ken Kesey, in San Francisco, in Viet Nam.
   
   This book was written with penetrating intellect, but comes across as disjointed and difficult to follow at times. I read it with laptop in lap to look up the arcana that seemed critical to the narrative, which often turned out to be needlessly obscure. Other times the ideas, places, and people filled out via Wikipedia were apropos and insightful references.
   
   I was particularly struck by the plausibility of his descriptions of Cassady and Kerouac, and life in Viet Nam during the war, as Stone neither deified nor pilloried his subjects, rather offering facts that told the story, such as Cassady being expelled from William F. Buckley's show for anti-semitism and where good pot was sold in Hanoi.
   
   A rewarding read for the demanding and careful reader, not a light casual book, despite the Merry Prankster bus cover.



4. This is HIS personal history of the 60s, not the total history of the time. Not a bad read coming from that view point. If looking for some great over view of those days, this ain't it. What book would give any great insight anyways since those days can only be be viewed through personal experiences or just a listing of events. Jerry Garcia's trip was one view, the politics of the day was another road traveled. Stone has written some good novels which I enjoyed, which maded me interested as did the Kesey connection.



5. Robert Stone has written his recollections of the sixties in this outing and it has some interesting insights to be sure. Stone was at the epicenter of some of the era's most ballyhooed events. Most interesting here, especially in light of the 50th anniversary of "On the Road" are his descriptions of Neal Cassidy and other members of Ken Kesey's band of pranksters.
   On the whole, though, Stone seems to ramble from one thought to another and sometimes the links between chapters are missing from my point of view. I suppose that given the source, an "a to z" account, would, in itself be inappropriate.
   The sixties were an era that has been looked at from many perspectives. It is a hard time to understand. Prime Green is an important viewpoint, providing insight into certain elements of the decade, but it is not a major work for those in search of the bigger picture.

2 comments about They Come Back Singing: Finding God With the Refugees.

1. This is a very moving book about a man finding the Lord in very deplorable situations. Seeing the strength and humor and watching him
   grow spirirtually is an awesome experince for the reader. I would love to see him write more books as he journeys through life.



2. The author, a Jesuit priest, spent about six years working with Sudanese refugees living in Uganda; he was "with them" in every way possible and came to love and be loved by many. The book is a series of rather short vignettes of his experiences and profoundly personal reflections drawn from those experiences. There is no effort in the book to prosyletize or argue religious propositions; but most of the primarily reflective pieces do draw on Catholic theological vocabulary. As one who has never been in Africa, I came away from this book with a very very different sense of the ordinary people there than I started out with. Nothing I have seen in the media has come at all close to describing the situation of Sudanese refugees with the poignancy or nitty-gritty detail of this enormously readable book.

1 comments about Black Elk Speaks.

1. I read "Black Elk Speaks" by Nebraska Poet Laureate John Neihardt way back in the 1970s; I taught it and assigned it to my students and, sometimes, over the years -- I've quoted and misquoted from this classic. At last, I've heard Black Elk! It is a revelation.
   
   In my declining years, I discover that I hear better than I read. Books that I hear -- Live in my memory; words I read, for the most part, remain on the page. When I put down a book I'm reading -- I'm done with it for the moment. When I stop listening - the audio book stays in my head and I look forward to hearing more.
   
   Scott Peterson reads Black Elk Speaks and I cannot imagine a better reader. Hearing him makes perfect sense
   since it is a story that was told by the old Sioux Chief in 1931 near the Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota. Mr. Peterson, a Cayuga, of the Iroquois Six Nations of upstate New York has an interesting voice and his reading reveals the structure of Neihardt's work. I had forgotten or never noticed that there are speakers in addition to Black Elk. We hear from other Chiefs, Standing Bear and Fire Thunder who were part of Black Elk's life and memories; they confirm and supplement the old man's recall. Black Elk was at Custer's defeat in 1876 - the Battle of Little Big Horn. He calls it, "The Rubbing Out of Long Hair." We might call it our nation's last great victory. Later, Black Elk signs on with Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show and performs before Queen Victoria in England. Black Elk was a shaman, a medicine man and healer.
   
   Hearing Black Elk's story impressed the tragic but also illuminated comical episodes that had escaped me. Of course political correctors will rush to inform that we only hear what dead white man Neihardt thinks we should hear. Yes, that's true; the story is filtered through the time in which it was set down, nonetheless: Neihardt's respect for his subject shines through and, it is worth remembering that Black Elk chose Neihardt after refusing to speak to others.
   
   As a young boy, Black Elk received visions and he couldn't understand them. However, people come to see that there was something special about this boy; in time he understands that he has been given a powerful vision with which to save his Nation. Today, we search for purpose or mission in life. Black Elk was given one and, it would seem, went to his grave feeling he had failed. Through the voice of Scott Peterson, Black Elk's words and vision live. There is a bonus that comes with this recording. When I picked up my tattered copy of Black Elk to check some detail: There was Peterson's voice in my head! How did that happen?

5 comments about Permanent Midnight: A Memoir.

1. The reader who began his review with the header Beautiful Loser was spot on. Of course, this book has plenty of the scandalous details about hepatitis C, vomiting, blood, nodding and assorted weirdness. But the real strength of the book is the consistently poignant way in which Stahl describes his feeling of absolute alienation from everything. These passages are touching, accurate, moving and eloquent. For a slightly less eloquent version of the exact same terrain of alienation as seen through addiction, try Dee Dee Ramone's autobiography.



2. If you don't want to shoot up for years and figure it out on your own, please read this book. If you wonder why your genius-kid is out shooting up, please read this book. If you think you might go and shoot up, please, please, please read this book (instead). It is a 100% accurate portrayal of the highly intelligent, not to mention highly creative, mind under the influence of a completely destructive upbringing and eventually a completely enslaving opiate habit. You will see the hypocrisy, both short and long term, any addict must justify or at least fog out in order to continue the cycle (a cycle most people will never understand). You will, after more or less going through it with Jerry (what, with the friendly and familiar choice of words, stomach-dropping descriptions and gut bursting humor), reach the end of this book with a thoughtful and understanding tear in your eye and, if you were lucky enough to have read it instead of having to go through it (which usually goes down without the $6000 a week to spend), a new and broader understanding of people you might have otherwise summed up and dismissed (at a less informed time of your life). Take interest in a problem which affects our families as well as ourselves. Please read this heart-felt masterpiece.



3. After reading this book it sure soured me on McDonald's. And I live in Phoenix.



4. Surprisingly, I found this book to be an excellent read. Stahl's extremely honest and no-holds-back dipiction of his "arrival" into Hollywood and his "departure" into heroin addiction, was incredibly exciting and moving. I've read 'em all (regarding addiction) and this is right up there on top. As a recovering addict myself, I find it hard to find an author who is genuinely honest of where the drugs and alcohol take them, and just how hard it is to get back, without having ego replace honesty. Hats off to Stahl for being able to accomplish the far and few between.



5. I thought I would hate this book because the guy seemed like some rich Hollywood type who romanticized his bout with drugs. The saving grace, was that the book is completely hilarious.

4 comments about Torches of Joy: A Stone Age Tribe's Encounter With the Gospel (International Adventures) (International Adventures).

1. Sometimes reality is so much better than fiction. I'm not sure a fiction author could have imagined a better story line. Torches of Joy is an incredibly inspiring and uplifting book focused on the work of missionaries John and Helen Dekker among the Dani people. I'm always amazed at how God can take ordinary people and use them for extraordinary purposes. While a significant portion of the book is focused on the Dekker's lives and work, it is somewhat overshadowed by the power of God and his work among the Dani people. Miracles are prevalent and God's blessings on their work obvious. Most amazing, for me though, was the wisdom John and Helen showed in working with the Dani people. I can not imagine the overwhelming feelings they had at times to change the people rather than let God do the work for them. At the same time, the courage of the Dani people is highlighted and many of their sacrifices not forgotten.
   
   Torches of Joy is very easy to read by children and adults. It doesn't go into a lot of details and moves from one story to the next, which is good for keeping children interested. It is an excellent guide to evangelism. The methods used by the Dekker's are often times, sadly forgotten in our modern culture. If you are wanting to strengthen your faith, educate your children, or simply be encouraged by the power of God, this is an excellent choice.



2. I read a borrowed copy of this book aloud to my two children ages 8 and 11. We loved the story of John and Helen Dekker moving, with their family, into Toli River Valley area of New Guinea to be with the Dani people.

   The work they were allowed to do was very inspiring. It was so interesting to consider explaining and teaching about Jesus and the Word of God to a people that have no knowlege of Him. There were many things that did not have direct paralels with the Dani culture, we enjoyed reading about how the Dekkers conveyed the message. The results were so touching. It reminded me, that each of us is in the same position and can be touched and changed as dramatically as the Dani's were changed by knowing and following Jesus.

   The spirit that the Lord imparted to the Dani's under John and Helen Dekker was very precious. They desired to give to others what had been given to them. And they endeavored to do it.

   
   We all loved meeting the different Dani's through the story. We will only travel in wururu's after this, never airplanes. We laughed at the Dani's attempt to convey modesty, cried at their losses and really appreciated the sacrifices that were made by the many people involved in this work, knowing that sacrifices extract a price.

   We all agreed that we would need to get our own copy of this book. Another book in a similar vein we enjoyed was "In Search of the Source"--can't remember who it is by.




3. This is an amazing and inspiring story. I wish more people could know about this. It would make a great movie. If you are contemplating on reading this book, take my advice and do so. You will not be dissapointed. - DaveDavidson.com



4. This is a very readable account of the emergence of a tribe that was literally in the Stone Age (no knowledge of or use of any metal!) into the 20th Century during the 60's and 70's. These People are still assimilating into the Indonesian culture today. Much of the story is about the evangelisation in a People centered, keep the culture manner. The book is co-authored by and about my father - so I have a personal interest in this story! In fact I grew up as a child in the midst of it.

5 comments about No Lifeguard on Duty: The Accidental Life of the World's First Supermodel.

1. Janice got down, dirty, and honest with this book in her tough journey to fame. However, she is an amazing woman who has survived much in life, while doing her best to thrive.
   
   Kudos Janice! Thank you for sharing a part of you with us all!
   
   A MUST read for everyone!
   
   Merna Throne
   
   Pocket of Pearls: A 30-day pocket workbook to start hearing a softer voice inside of you!



2. This book was AMAZING!!! SOOO good i thought it was fiction. A fantastic read.



3. This memoir delivers! Laugh out loud funny, and full of juicy show biz gossip. Janice rats out everyone in here. I like that her voice comes through 100%--it's like you are sitting with her listening to her stories over drinks, one on one. There is more to Janice's story--a darker side with a totally messed up childhood that shaped who she became. Think what you will of her, but she is never boring. A great read.



4. I must say that I truly enjoyed reading this book. There is one thing about the author that I like best and it is the fact that she is real; she tells it like it is. She has guts! This by itself makes the book worth it! I honestly believe that she shares honest and truthful tales about the modeling bussiness and her personal life. I give this book a 10.



5. So, I am a fan of crazy-gorgeous-extreme model types, because they are so much the opposite of me.
   
   Take Janice Dickinson, for instance. Janice walks in a room, and everyone knows it. Maybe they smell her heady melange of booze, perfume, and cigarettes. It could be the obnoxiously loud string of foulness that always enters before she does. And perhaps it's because she's gorgeous and has those crazy -- as in substantially unstable -- eyes that demand attention in a Charlie Manson kind of way. I don't know. Whatever it is, I want it, as do millions of young ladies.
   
   So I really wanted to like this book and experience a lot of "Oh no she di'int" admiration, but mostly, I was stumbling over the lackluster, disconnected writing. Does anyone believe celebrities of her caliber -- low, that is -- really write their own material? I suppose her "writing partner" is partially to blame for the poor quality, but having seen Dickinson in action (critiquing ANTM contestants and manipulating her way through the D-list dumpster that is The Surreal Life), I don't doubt for a second that she'd have creative control and final say on the content and style.
   
   Janice does deliver some juicy bits. For example, way back when Sly Stallone was her man, Janice was regularly given mystery "vitamins" by the Rocky that, in light of recent events, may've been an early iteration of HGH. Hm. Plus there's tons of drugs and boyfriends (and girlfriends), although I could've done without the explicit descriptions of sex ham-fistedly sandwiched into random spots. (It's like she forgot she wasn't writing a Harlequin for a couple of pages.)
   
   As in other memoirs by people who shouldn't necessarily be writing any, there's the usual childhood drama blown out of proportion. Being abused is drama enough -- why add the Lifetime Movie of the Week fanfare? It feels a little... exploitative.
   
   But I suppose that's the point. Dickinson made her career out of exploitation -- of her body, the camera, other people's bodies... you name it. I appreciate the candor she shows, and no-holds-barred "outing" of celeb secrets is balanced by kind words for others (for instance, Christie Brinkley is -- or at least was -- a saint). This could've been an excellent book if only she'd taken an intensive in English composition and pulled out a thesaurus. (At least it wasn't as bad as Iceberg Slim!)

5 comments about Rescuing Jeffrey: A Memoir.

1. this memoir was. What a an act of courage (the word bravery comes to mind also) that Jeffrey's father had at the time of his sons accident. It is just a short fast read but it packed full of insight. The hardback has a haunting picture on its cover..



2. When I first starting reading this book my frame of reference was Christopher Reeve's book "Still Me", about the struggles of facing quadriplegia after a tragic accident. I found Mr. Reeve's book inspiring in many ways and disheartening in other ways. Mr. Reeve was wealthy enough, and had multiple insurance and disability policies to fund a private clinic in his own home, with a full time staff of nurses, aides and therapists. In Mr. Galli's book, I was disheartened more than anything else. For a large part of the book he weighs the pros and cons of ending his son's life, not considering what his son would want to do. We're not talking about a brain dead person here, just how his son's new life of incapacity and dependence will impact his parents. Mr. Galli, in the irony of ironies, is an attorney, and is facing the prospect of hundreds of thousands, if not millions of dollars in costs caring for his son over his lifetime, and has nobody to sue. That seems to be a strong undercurrent in this book. Not just "Whose Life Is It Anyway?", but who pays for the continuance of this life in anyplace other than a lousy nursing home? This is really an issue for our society to deal with. I'm not sure if I want my taxes and health insurance costs to go up enough to cover paying $500,000. a year for every handicapped person who wants to remain at home to get all of the services that are required. And I was also very turned off by Mr. Galli's appeal for funds to pay for his son's care. Christopher Reeve solicited money for his foundation to do research and give out "quality of life" grants to paralyzed individuals, not for his personal use. Mr. Galli wants people to send in money to his son's trust fund to lighten the burden on himself.
   When I was a kid, and I am in my mid 50's, the phrase "accidents happen" was an accepted part of life. Today it seems that the accepted standard is that "negligence happens", and that there is almost always someone to sue.
   Jeffrey Galli had an extremely unfortunate accident. But I do believe that accidents happen, and I will continue to take care of my family members, and the Gallis, and their family and friends, should take care of theirs. And when you can no longer care for your son the same dreadful nursing homes will be available to you that the rest of us are stuck with for our loved ones.



3. This is a finely written memoir of a dreadful event -- a swimming accident that left the author's teenaged son paralyzed. The story takes us over the first days after the accident -- a time when the parents are trying to balance their son's options -- and the possibility of terminating life support. This is a very moving book, and I could not help but be profoundly impressed by the son, Jeffrey, along with his family and the network of supportive friends. I recommend this book without reservation. On another, perhaps less important note, I should mention that the author is also a very good writer. It is frequent in memoir books that I overlook style because of the content. But in this case, the content was very moving, as I said; the writing was very, very good. One last comment -- I cannot help but wonder if the negative reviewers finished the book. They might be surprised.



4. When my son was also injured in a diving accident in 1991 just pior to his 29th birthday, one of the counselors talked with me about the variances in each level of injury... and the variances within each level. This book relates totally ... and likewise, not at all. Such injuries do encompass such huge differences and yet still create huge bonds amongst SCI families and their friends. In 1991, I didn't have the availability of all the resources that can now be found so easily on the web... this improvement in availability is an additional tool in helping us learn and in helping us share/teach; alongside the medical improvements that increase the quality of life for those in wheelchairs. The wheelchair is what people see; the reality is so much more. As a mother, I appreciated reading the reactions from the other side of the parenting role... a father's honesty and truth... I know it was not easily exposed. Different angles of perception; same levels of love. Thank you, Jeffrey, as your father wrote... for sacrificing your privacy so he could tell the story.



5. When a tragedy such as the one Richard Galli experienced in his family occurs, the family is expected to nod in agreement at platitudes from well-meaning aquaintences such as , "At least he's still alive." But sometimes we're not truly glad our loved one is alive. Sometimes our love is so deep and the prognosis is so bad that we want to say, "NO!" But it is rare to have the courage to admit it if our society would be more cmfortable otherwise.

   Richard Galli obviously shared his feelings with rare honesty. He didn't tell a sappy story that would make us feel better. He told the truth. It is apparent that he didn't write for the popular commercial success, but for more personal and intimate reasons. Those who dare to read it with an open heart can benefit from his bravery in sharing his thoughts and feelings with no regard for what anyone not in his situation might think.

5 comments about Fathers and Sons: The Autobiography of a Family.

1. Alexander Waugh writes with intimacy and honesty about his lineage. Stocked with access to intimate family papers and diaries of his father (Auberon Waugh), grandfather (Evelyn Waugh), Uncle Alec (Evelyn's author brother), and, great grandfather (Arthur Waugh), the author tenaciously keeps to his theme of the influence of fathers upon sons, all to the exclusion of other family members. He dwells too long on his grandfather and his offspring. At the end, however, he writes movingly about his famous father, Auberon Waugh, the more admirable person. Regrettably, the book skimps on "Bron" Waugh, the better father, the funniest and most entertaining, and a man of "greater stature than his father," according to A.N.Wilson and V.S. Naipaul." Evelyn was an ogre; a supercilious prig whose chilly personality and misanthropy can not be downplayed despite his art and the ameliorating attempts by his grandson to do so as Evelyn approaches death.



2. You will find very few books that can match Fathers and Sons as a revealing family biography. The Waughs have been one of England's most literary families for four generations. This effort by Alexander is a fascinating study of their filial relations. Evelyn Waugh (1903-1966) is the best known of the family, though his father, brother, son and grandsons have all turned out well-crafted prose. What was not well-crafted was their relationships. Evelyn was an irritable being and he could suffer no foolishness. Since all the principals kept diaries and corresponded frequently, we have a shocking record of their foibles and failures as well as their obvious talents. (All the Waughs wrote entertainingly, even in casual notes.)
   
   Is this biography by a family member to be judged unbiased? An adversarial opinion draws strength from the author's comment to his mother-in-law who had inquired what sex he hoped his in utero child would be. 'I don't particularly mind so long as it's a liar' he replied. And then, "a child is no good unless it is charged with fantasy and confidant enough to foist it upon others."
   
   In many ways, this gives insight into what propelled the whole clan. While they thought they were acting justifiably in embroilments, they were primarily responding to what their circle expected of them. And that was to produce well-written and entertaining prose. Much of this book consists of long quotations from the authors' works, including diary entries and correspondence. The relationship between Evelyn and his father is the best developed and the old man's preference for Evelyn's less renoun brother Alec is deeply elaborated. Be assured that the author spares nothing for relations sake. At one point, he criticizes another contemporary biographer for describing a family member's genitals and concedes that this is beyond the pale. However, thanks to decades of journal-keeping and inter-generational speculation, the Waughs are presented more nakedly than any camera could reveal. I blushed for them repeatedly.
   
   I don't know if this is a true picture of how things were, but I do know that I've read a thoroughly engrossing family tale that gives superb insight into the social and literary events of twentieth century England. Fathers and Sons is required reading for all future explorations of Waviana.



3. After hearing Alexander Waugh discuss this book on a radio program recently, I felt compelled to buy it. He spoke so intelligently and humorously on the subject of the Waugh family's male line. Unfortunately, his enthusiasm does not translate onto the written page. Some very funny dialogue and events are lost amongst the author's determination in sticking to the theme of father and son's and their relationships and the minutae of dreary details and long recitations of dreadful poetry and dull diary entries. If the reader is already well-informed about the Waugh line, he/she might find the book illuminating with some valuable insight about the subject. I, however, knew little on the subject, and many interesting details Mr Waugh might have put in the book, he declines to, to it's detriment. I found the book, on the whole, a dissapointing muddle of quotes, memories and long drawn-out diary entries. This book could have doen with some careful editing.



4. This collective biography spans about six generations responsible for, one from the fifth generation tells us, about 180 books-- quite an average. Alexander's narrative depicts The Brute, muttonchopped patriarch from the 1860s; Arthur, Pickwickian declaimer; Evelyn & Alec, one funny, one feckless, both novelists, bon vivants, and diligent scribblers; Auberon ("Bron"), satirist whose entries for the Daily Telegraph & Private Eye I'd always heard of but never before (given their London provenance) had the chance to sample-- in his son's excerpts here; Alexander, who never seems to have been called as such ever by Bron. "For the first eight or ten years of my life I was addressed simply as 'Fat Fool'." (422) It's that kind of relationship; the book concludes gracefully if ruefully with the newest father's glance at his next generation. Alexander, as I must call him for clarity's sake in a book with three Brons and a He-Evelyn & She-Evelyn, delves into the correspondence, rumors, anecdotes, novels, journalism, and gossip that makes up about a century and a half of alternately engrossing and trivial material.
   
   Rather than the Delphic oracular injunction to "know thyself," Alexander avers this on the lowered level of the teenaged "I need to discover the real me." He counters: "Perhaps 'O Man, know thine ancestors' would be a more useful motto for the modern egotist to pin on his puffed lapel. For the key to his identity, if such a thing even exists, will be found to lie not where he instinctively looks for it in the mirror-glass in front, but furtively concealed all about the hedgerows and borders of the long, twisting, dusty road behind." (19)
   
   Why focus on the fathers and sons? That's where the bulk of the literary material lies, and the reason for "Wavian" renown, envy, backlash, and retribution. Michael Dirnda's review posted on Amazon recounts the episode of Bron's Cypriot machine gun gone awry, and this could have been lifted from a novel by Evelyn, his father. Alexander's best when he shows precisely how real life overlapped with Evelyn, Alec, Arthur, and Bron's own writing, and how they all used extraordinary wit (at their best at least; all wrote so much that inevitably standards slipped) to illuminate in fiction and essays their own foibles and those of their fathers. This pattern, as the son reflects late on in this family history, presents fascination and difficulty.
   
   "A father may have many children to add to his many concerns but a son has only one father, the 'august creator of his being', who chooses where he lives, where he goes to school, what he might find funny and, to a certain extent, what he thinks. Fathers are more important than sons, and therein lies the problem." (418) The gist of this lengthy book, filled with letters back and forth between the generations as they snipe, nudge, and snicker with each other, is that in such a chain of progenitors and offspring may not lie conventionally false notions of affection for children-- in all their boredom, annoying habits, and demands to Be Taken Seriously. Instead, refreshingly, each father W. appears to-- as documented closely here-- have detested and escaped from his snivelling progeny whenever possible, and for this, in time if decades later, the son loved the father. Such honesty, as Alexander and his father show, eviscerates sentiment. It attacks maudlin convention of how parenthood should be celebrated, and this remains the lasting message I take from this book.
   
   But I'd be remiss to say, without giving away the best parts of this narrative, that for all the longueurs, for all the endless moaning about headmasters and contracts and affairs and alcohol that occupy so much of the content of the letters and the recollections-- that considerable learning, outrageous incidents, and genuine humor at the foibles of our fallen human condition provide the essence of this study. Evelyn and Bron sigh eloquently, in frustration at the pablum that the nanny state thinks we need for nourishment in ever more philistine times.
   
   Not all is either stultifying correspondence, insider family lore, or dutiful corroboration or refutation of allegations whispered or thundered for decades against the Waughs. The contents are stuffed full of epistolary invective, and it's probably difficult for Alexander, having to set the record straight and add his many askew angles to what's been printed and promulgated about his family, to edit the wealth of primary sources he presents, sifts, and challenges. The book may suffer in readability for those of us not as enamored of or as intimately related to Waviana. Still, this is a forgivable fault and a welcome one, given the access Alexander offers for those who immerse themselves in his in-depth presentation of Alec, Arthur, and his own father.
   
   By contrast, the more familiar Evelyn recedes, and we see him more as one integrating his father, Arthur, into such works as "A Handful of Dust" so memorably. Evelyn's more personally presented to us, and less of his works or public life, such as it was, gains scrutiny here. The book, for me, gains poignancy in the later years of Evelyn and the maturity of Bron; this allows Alexander more space to consider his own entry then onto this crowded dais of literary predecessors. His emphasis is on the personal side of Evelyn, his grandfather, as he signed to Bron "yours affec. E.W."
   
   Bron comments on Evelyn after his death that "politics bored him. His interest was confined to resentment at seeing his earnings redistributed among people who were judged more worthy to spend them than he." (qtd. 424) This typifies an ethical, yet bitter, sense of withheld fairness amidst what Evelyn lamented as the "abominable difficulty of human relations." Bron credited Evelyn's removal of all his teeth without anesthetic as improving his disposition in old age; Evelyn in turn had followed Arthur's venerable example. Such relationships, then obliquely reflected by Bron with Alexander, as had Evelyn & Alec's with Arthur, sets up a hall of mirrors. The later father and son characterize themselves as "liberal anarchists," fed up with a notion of prosperity that insists only on materialism and gadgets. (Although I did marvel at Bron's ability "without gainful employment" at 24 when fathering Alexander "near Treviso in Italy at the house of a one-eared Arabist called Dame Freya Stark" to "employ a daily help, a French maid and a maternity nurse." (422-23) Money did seem to afford handsome estates, lengthy trips abroad, boarding schools and Oxford, and lots of fine wine on what appeared to me vanishingly little visible means of income. This may be my American sensibility, unaccustomed to how the other half lives.
   
   Alexander on Bron: "He, too, used his writing to free himself from the irritations of life and the problems of human existence." (430) The whole refusal to kow-tow to the demands of children, while delighting in the pursuit of one's own selfish pursuits, certainly runs against the prevailing philosophy of our age. Somehow, the Waughs managed to produce the children they deserved, I suppose. This all reminds me of an observation by Borges: both mirrors and procreation are abominable, for they reproduce the human figure without reason.
   
   Bron emerges as a match for Evelyn when it comes to insight beyond the family's eccentricities and social shenanigans. As Evelyn became discouraged by the post-Vatican II Church, so did his son. After attending services that Bron realized "would be completely unrecognisable to him, that the new religion had nothing whatever to do with the church to which he had pledged his loyalty," Bron "felt I could distance myself." Wisdom follows: "Whatever central trut survives lies outside the modern church, buried in the historical awareness of individual members. Or so it seems to me. But whenever I have doubts, it is my father's fury rather than divine retribution which I dread." (435)
   
   Bron's son follows suit. He titles a recent book "God," yet asserts that the loss of a True Faith (as Evelyn famously displayed) may be simply proof that the zeal of the convert's rarely hereditary. Decline & Fall repeats each generation on the Waugh's domestic stage. "The English show their hatred for children by dressing them in anoraks and romper suits, stuffing them with sweets, refusing to talk to them and sending them out of doors whenever possible in the pathetic hope that someone will murder them." (qtd. 437) The clumsy love of father for son, and the half-shameful, half-affectionate fumble of emotions, moves through many letters quoted here, if to often unintentionally comic rather than the usually desired risible or denunciatory effects.
   
   A couple of examples must suffice. Arthur wrote to teenaged Alec off at school, in May, 1914 about the sin of self-abuse. "It is an awful thought that someday you might take to a poor girl's arms a body that will avenge its own indulgences upon children yet unborn." The letter goes on, by the way, for probably over fifteen hundred words, and is printed in its entirety. I do doubt the assertions in one footnote Alexander adds, however, so I must append it too for the sake of transparency: "Masturbation was not considered unhealthy until 1710 when John Martens, a quack doctor and pornographer, proclaimed it as such in a book called Onania. Marten's fortune derived from the medicine sold in conjunction with his book. The Church did not consider masturbation a sin, or indeed link it to Onan's behaviour in Genesis, until after the publication of Onania." (63) Certainly a topic needing hands-on research?
   
   There's much of this sort of skewed erudition here from all Wavian contributors. I leave to you to burrow out the derivation of Crutwellism, to hearsay regarding Oxonian "dog sodomy," Evelyn's providing rabbits with a deadly glass of Christmas cheer, and his wife Laura's fate when she fails to get rid of rotten fruit. You'll find which Waugh died with a turd near his corpse, which one provided inspiration for both Island Records and the cocktail party, which one became Colonel Gaddafi's favorite author, and which one was depicted in a moralizing portrait, "Dr Waugh and the Perverse Pupil." Not to forget such sentences as this, concerning "an ethnic guitar" which Alexander's brother Nat brings back from South America "as a present for his mother-in-law" that "contained chagas larvae, which hatched unto beetles, crawled out of the instrument, killed the dog and rendered his mother-in-law insane." (443)



5. I have not finished this book yet, but so far it is an enjoyable and interesting read.
   
   I am a Waugh fan, and have most of their books, which are very enjoyable. Generally all the reader knows of a writer or family of writers is what is written on the dust jacket. Fathers and Sons is a real eye-opener into the private lives of these gifted writers - rude, crude, funny, sentimental, intelligent, ironic, and sad. I highly recommend it.

4 comments about Damn The Statistics, I Have a Life to Live!: Coping with a Brain Tumor My Personal Story.

1. This guy has quite a story to tell. It's nice to read a journal of an another brain tumor patient. Having a brain tumor myself, this book makes me realize how good my situation really is. His story is inspiring, and I really like his writing style. I read this book in one night.



2. I read this book when my mother was diagnosed with Glioblastoma Multiforme IV. It was very quick and easy reading, which is good during a time like this. It tells what this guy experienced from the beginning symptoms, through surgery, and recovery. It helped to reaffirm that what the doctors were doing for my mom was the "standard" procedure for this type of cancer, and helped to familiarize me with the terminology that I was both hearing from the doctors as well as reading simultaneously in this book. Although people experience different symptoms from this cancer, much of it is the same. Because this guy was able to write about what he experienced, it helped me to understand more of what my mom was going through... with the loss of words and thoughts, inability to do simple everyday activities that we take for granted, the craniotomy, and treatments - radiation and chemo. I would recommend this book to anyone who is caring for someone with this tumor.. It's affordable, quick reading, and it will help give you more insight on what the patient is going through.
   I would like to say that my mom has undergone 2 craniotomies, she is walking again, becoming easier to understand, and has the best attitude towards life. She's got too much to live for to let this little thing called "cancer" get in her way. :-)



3. If you know someone that has cancer, this book takes you through the first year covering awake craniotomy surgery, radiation therapy, chemo therapy, and others. There are a lot of pictures.



4. If you or a loved one is dealing with a tumor or a cancer this is the book to help you get through it. It details the authors personal problems and medical problems. It is a real page turner and very informative. A recommended read for everyone!!!

5 comments about Accidentally on Purpose: A One-Night Stand, My Unplanned Parenthood, and Loving the Best Mistake I Ever Made.

1. Mary Pols entered motherhood by the backdoor - at the age of forty, a one-night stand with a man ten years her junior left her pregnant. At times both hysterically funny and deeply moving, Pols writes wryly about the challenges of parenting not only her newborn son, but also his chronically immature father. From the struggles of becoming a mother to the heartbreak of losing her elderly parents, Pols has written an engaging and memorable memoir.



2. This is one of the few times that I have read a book based on a family I know. I grew up around the corner from the Pols and was friends/contemporaries of the older group of the six children. I do not know Mary but I certainly understand the family dynamic.
   I read this book in one day-I lauughed and I cried. I was angry with her for her lack of understandingin some situations and I was proud of her for her understanding in other ways.
   This is a painfully real, honest memoir that tells a sometimes hard story but Mary reveals so much of her soul it is hard to not be entranced and engaged. How brave to be so brutally honest about one's shortcomings and fears.
   She paints a sometimes unattractive picture of the baby's father but I do understand that she was writing about her feelings-she would not tell you that she was always fair or politically correct-it just is what it is. Her son may read the book and think she was hard on his father but I doubt that. I think that he will see the truth of his mother's struggle in bringing him into the world and how both his parents fought to make him safe and happy. It was hard and very real-I'm glad she told the story.



3. Though I really enjoyed this book for a variety of reasons, it concerns me that Pols was so ruthless and revealing about her relationship with her son's father. Although she certainly does not paint herself as the perfect mate or parent, she is not gracious about her son's father's (perceived) failings. I just thought it brutal, and more than a little indecorous to go into such detail about their sexual behavior and how he doesn't measure up in so many ways. How unkind a picture to bequeath her son! I think the rationale that it is for "art's sake" is thin, and symptomatic of our boundry-less popular culture. Sure, Pols is honest about her own warts, but that doesn't mitigate the cruel overexposure she has subjected her son and his father to.
   
   That said, it is often funny and definitely a page-turner.



4. I happened across this book in the library and picked it up because the title sounded interesting. I am a habitual re-reader of books I love and am harsh on starting new books due to limited time. That being said, I found Accidentally on Purpose to be a book I couldn't put down. I felt like the author was talking to me as one of my friends might talk to me telling me a story of what had happened to her. This is a wonderful story of two normal, imperfect people doing the right thing in their own way. I found the story of Matt and Mary sticking it out with each other and working through their own issues to meet their goal of parenting Dolan to be really inspiring. I'm making an effort to tell everyone I know to read the book- it's such a delight to find such a good book purely by chance. Hope to see more work by the author in the future.



5. Single Mom Seeking: Playdates, Blind Dates, and Other Dispatches from the Dating World
   
   I stayed up way past my bedtime to read this book, about 39-year-old movie critic Mary Pols, who knew she wanted to have a baby. But never--not in a million years--on her own.
   
   Then, there's this one-night stand with an adorable but jobless guy ten years her junior... After taking a home pregnancy test, Mary worries everything: how she'll break the news to her friends and family (five siblings and an 84-year-old Catholic father), how she'll afford single motherhood, how she'll do everything on her own, and how she might co-parent with a man (Matt) whom she barely knows.
   
   I love how Mary defines family in her memoir, and how she honestly looks at herself between the lines. I really related to her angst, late nights, and worries about the future. Simply beautiful writing.