5 comments about Rescuing Jeffrey: A Memoir.

1. this memoir was. What a an act of courage (the word bravery comes to mind also) that Jeffrey's father had at the time of his sons accident. It is just a short fast read but it packed full of insight. The hardback has a haunting picture on its cover..



2. When I first starting reading this book my frame of reference was Christopher Reeve's book "Still Me", about the struggles of facing quadriplegia after a tragic accident. I found Mr. Reeve's book inspiring in many ways and disheartening in other ways. Mr. Reeve was wealthy enough, and had multiple insurance and disability policies to fund a private clinic in his own home, with a full time staff of nurses, aides and therapists. In Mr. Galli's book, I was disheartened more than anything else. For a large part of the book he weighs the pros and cons of ending his son's life, not considering what his son would want to do. We're not talking about a brain dead person here, just how his son's new life of incapacity and dependence will impact his parents. Mr. Galli, in the irony of ironies, is an attorney, and is facing the prospect of hundreds of thousands, if not millions of dollars in costs caring for his son over his lifetime, and has nobody to sue. That seems to be a strong undercurrent in this book. Not just "Whose Life Is It Anyway?", but who pays for the continuance of this life in anyplace other than a lousy nursing home? This is really an issue for our society to deal with. I'm not sure if I want my taxes and health insurance costs to go up enough to cover paying $500,000. a year for every handicapped person who wants to remain at home to get all of the services that are required. And I was also very turned off by Mr. Galli's appeal for funds to pay for his son's care. Christopher Reeve solicited money for his foundation to do research and give out "quality of life" grants to paralyzed individuals, not for his personal use. Mr. Galli wants people to send in money to his son's trust fund to lighten the burden on himself.
   When I was a kid, and I am in my mid 50's, the phrase "accidents happen" was an accepted part of life. Today it seems that the accepted standard is that "negligence happens", and that there is almost always someone to sue.
   Jeffrey Galli had an extremely unfortunate accident. But I do believe that accidents happen, and I will continue to take care of my family members, and the Gallis, and their family and friends, should take care of theirs. And when you can no longer care for your son the same dreadful nursing homes will be available to you that the rest of us are stuck with for our loved ones.



3. This is a finely written memoir of a dreadful event -- a swimming accident that left the author's teenaged son paralyzed. The story takes us over the first days after the accident -- a time when the parents are trying to balance their son's options -- and the possibility of terminating life support. This is a very moving book, and I could not help but be profoundly impressed by the son, Jeffrey, along with his family and the network of supportive friends. I recommend this book without reservation. On another, perhaps less important note, I should mention that the author is also a very good writer. It is frequent in memoir books that I overlook style because of the content. But in this case, the content was very moving, as I said; the writing was very, very good. One last comment -- I cannot help but wonder if the negative reviewers finished the book. They might be surprised.



4. When my son was also injured in a diving accident in 1991 just pior to his 29th birthday, one of the counselors talked with me about the variances in each level of injury... and the variances within each level. This book relates totally ... and likewise, not at all. Such injuries do encompass such huge differences and yet still create huge bonds amongst SCI families and their friends. In 1991, I didn't have the availability of all the resources that can now be found so easily on the web... this improvement in availability is an additional tool in helping us learn and in helping us share/teach; alongside the medical improvements that increase the quality of life for those in wheelchairs. The wheelchair is what people see; the reality is so much more. As a mother, I appreciated reading the reactions from the other side of the parenting role... a father's honesty and truth... I know it was not easily exposed. Different angles of perception; same levels of love. Thank you, Jeffrey, as your father wrote... for sacrificing your privacy so he could tell the story.



5. When a tragedy such as the one Richard Galli experienced in his family occurs, the family is expected to nod in agreement at platitudes from well-meaning aquaintences such as , "At least he's still alive." But sometimes we're not truly glad our loved one is alive. Sometimes our love is so deep and the prognosis is so bad that we want to say, "NO!" But it is rare to have the courage to admit it if our society would be more cmfortable otherwise.

   Richard Galli obviously shared his feelings with rare honesty. He didn't tell a sappy story that would make us feel better. He told the truth. It is apparent that he didn't write for the popular commercial success, but for more personal and intimate reasons. Those who dare to read it with an open heart can benefit from his bravery in sharing his thoughts and feelings with no regard for what anyone not in his situation might think.

5 comments about Lessons in Becoming Myself.

1. I picked up "Lessons" on the way to a summer vacation simply because I like memoirs and there it was. I expected nothing more than a white suburban girl makes good story while clawing her way to Hollywood. Instead, you are off on a tour of world religions, meetings with great intellectuals, spirit quests, horrifying abuse, and relentless self examination. To paraphrase Emerson "the examined life makes great reading"! What a wonderful read; so sad when you have to put it down. Here's wishing for a sequel -- and soon.



2. Ellen Burstyn has always been one of my favorite actresses. Her warmth and sensitivity has always illuminated her performances, and her bravery in tackling difficult material such as Requiem for a Dream has been impressive. This book tells why she is able to let herself go in roles that other actors would soft pedal.



3. In these times when our culture is focusing on so many lost souls in Hollywood, Ellen Burstyn's book emerges with honesty, insight and lessons for all of us. I thoroughly enjoyed reading about her life and how she overcame an extremely unloving and abusive childhood to emerge as a strong and powerful woman and incredible actress. As a 45 year old woman it is people like Ellen Burstyn that inspire me on this journey of life. She is an incredibly wise soul and I am very grateful she shared her life with us in such a frank and open way.



4. Down in the basement of my house, there is a room where I store my archives: every script I've ever worked on, photos taken of me and photos I've taken, diaries, journals, appointment books, calendars, and notebooks from all the way back to my beginnings. (p. 3)
   
   So begins the life story of Ellen Burstyn, as told by Ellen Burstyn in free-flowing narrative. The reader is given a glimpse into the most private parts of Burstyn's life, starting with her earliest memories. Burstyn actually began what became this book in 1980. As her opening remarks tell us, she had a lot of documentation with which to work. Just as important as her physical records, though, are those she finds in her "inner archive."
   
   When I need to access a particular emotion for a role, I imagine taking an elevator down to my inner archive, where I quietly flip through the files until some memory rises up and offers itself. Then I move into that event and it comes alive in me. (p. 3)
   
   Burstyn also has a remarkable memory for conversations and many of these find their way into her writing. She claims to have trained her memory--a good trait for an actress and also for a memoirist.
   
   This is a searching, self-introspective account. One might liken it to reading someone's journal or diary, so intimate are the glimpses into her most private experiences. She "speaks" to her audience (her readers), but just as often seems to be addressing herself, questioning a choice she made, second-guessing her reaction to an event, or wondering aloud why some things have been so hard to learn. She gives a great deal of attention to presenting and explaining the various faith beliefs and credos which she encountered and studied throughout her life. She identified herself as a Sufi, a searcher for truth in its purest form. "I learn from all traditions without being restricted to just one way," she says. "Truth has no boundaries." (p. 403) Burstyn has little use for organized religion, whose dogma and rules she finds confining.
   
   Having seen Ellen Burstyn in a wide variety of movie roles, I would have thought she was a confident, secure, strong woman. Now in her seventy-seventh year, she may be strong, but that was not always the case. Becoming herself has been a life-long process, and often a grueling journey.
   
   It would be impossible in a short time to present all of the life issues Burstyn addresses in her memoir. However, there is one which I believe played a huge part in not only who she became, but also how she got there. From her earliest days, she identified truth, or the lack of it, as a major issue with her mother, Coriene. Dishonesty was a huge factor for young Edna Rae Gillooly/Ellen. While demanding absolute honesty from her children, Coriene then perversely demanded that they lie for her. Coriene also lied about them, even denying their existence if it seemed expedient, going so far as to introduce Edna to a gentleman friend as her "neighbor down the street." Coriene thought that acknowledging her children might adversely affect her chances of getting a marriage proposal. Of these practices, Ellen said, "Her deceit did so much harm. It created a negative atmosphere of anger, resentment and hostility that pervaded our home and had abiding repercussions for all of us." (pg. 18)
   
   Indeed, much of Burstyn's searching throughout her life centered on finding truth in many manifestations. She attributes the early and constant honesty issues with her mother as one of the main reasons she chose to be a Sufi.
   
   Burstyn does not glamorize her life. She shares her failures as well as her fame. She is open about the abuses she suffered both as a child and as an adult. On one hand, she knew how destructive it was, but on the other, she couldn't seem to break away from it. It's a continuing theme of her life story. At one point, she acknowledged, "it would take many years before I stopped seeking out the pattern of relating to men that I learned at home...we just keep repeating it because that's what we know." Her relationship with Neil Burstyn caused trauma for years; she actually feared for her life at times. She admitted to being in denial over the severity of his condition.
   
   Another recurrent theme is that of learning from mistakes. Burstyn freely admits to many of hers. She struggled with giving up to men what she perceived rightly as her power, simply because they were men. "We learn from our mistakes" she says. "This was one of mine that I repeated over and over until I got it right. I've heard it said that when you make a mistake and don't learn from it, the next time you have to repeat that lesson, it will be even harder." (p.295) Later she asks "Who knows what mistakes we need to make in order to learn the lessons we came here to learn?" Who among us cannot relate to that? Likewise, she sees the people in her life as teachers. Her mother may have been harsh and unloving, but she gave young Edna the impetus to leave home and make something of herself. A homeless person teaches her how vital it is that we are seen, that we are acknowledged as fellow humans. The book's dedication simply thanks "all my teachers."
   
   Lessons in Becoming Myself is a good read presented by a woman who has finally come to know herself. The pace of the book is steady and she maintains the reader's interest by being so transparent and open. Few of us, I believe, could read this book and not find some commonality with this icon of film and stage.
   
   She ends this account of her life thus far with these words "I know that becoming conscious is a never-ending process. My prayer is that by the actual end of this life, I will exit wearing my own true face and be completely unmasked. Authenticity has been my aspiration." A fitting and yet ironic commentary on the life of a consummate actress, a woman who has worn many masks so successfully in her chosen profession.
   
   by Susan Ideus
   for Story Circle Book Reviews
   reviewing books by, for, and about women



5. "Thank you" Ellen Burstyn for writing with such honest, open, brave and detail oriented language. I was able to fully visualize every amazing episode of your life. And what a life!!! I'm exhausted from all the incredible experiences you had! I am truly dumbfounded how you survived it all??? You are a wonderful example of "living life to the fullest" and being a teacher/student all thru one's life.
   
   I've always admired your work as an actress. THE LAST PICTURE SHOW, THE KING OF MARVIN GARDENS, THE EXORCIST and ALICE DOESN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE have always been at the top of my "favorite films" list. And your performances in these films are sincere, emotional and real. But, to read about what you were going thru behind the scenes is what makes you a truly unique person and humanitarian.
   
   I believe we learn so much about life thru the art of storytelling. You are a gifted storyteller and by passing on the stories of your life you have enhanced mine with a reawakened "spiritual" curiosity about the mystery/meaning of life. Your willingness to share your thoughts concerning your spiritual journey was life-affirming!
   
   "Thank you" Ellen Burstyn for taking this reader on a journey filled with laughter, pain, strength, determination and a desire to connect with all human-beings/animals that came into your life. Your words moved me and your book will hold an honored place on my shelf of "favorite" biographies!

5 comments about Fathers and Sons: The Autobiography of a Family.

1. Alexander Waugh writes with intimacy and honesty about his lineage. Stocked with access to intimate family papers and diaries of his father (Auberon Waugh), grandfather (Evelyn Waugh), Uncle Alec (Evelyn's author brother), and, great grandfather (Arthur Waugh), the author tenaciously keeps to his theme of the influence of fathers upon sons, all to the exclusion of other family members. He dwells too long on his grandfather and his offspring. At the end, however, he writes movingly about his famous father, Auberon Waugh, the more admirable person. Regrettably, the book skimps on "Bron" Waugh, the better father, the funniest and most entertaining, and a man of "greater stature than his father," according to A.N.Wilson and V.S. Naipaul." Evelyn was an ogre; a supercilious prig whose chilly personality and misanthropy can not be downplayed despite his art and the ameliorating attempts by his grandson to do so as Evelyn approaches death.



2. You will find very few books that can match Fathers and Sons as a revealing family biography. The Waughs have been one of England's most literary families for four generations. This effort by Alexander is a fascinating study of their filial relations. Evelyn Waugh (1903-1966) is the best known of the family, though his father, brother, son and grandsons have all turned out well-crafted prose. What was not well-crafted was their relationships. Evelyn was an irritable being and he could suffer no foolishness. Since all the principals kept diaries and corresponded frequently, we have a shocking record of their foibles and failures as well as their obvious talents. (All the Waughs wrote entertainingly, even in casual notes.)
   
   Is this biography by a family member to be judged unbiased? An adversarial opinion draws strength from the author's comment to his mother-in-law who had inquired what sex he hoped his in utero child would be. 'I don't particularly mind so long as it's a liar' he replied. And then, "a child is no good unless it is charged with fantasy and confidant enough to foist it upon others."
   
   In many ways, this gives insight into what propelled the whole clan. While they thought they were acting justifiably in embroilments, they were primarily responding to what their circle expected of them. And that was to produce well-written and entertaining prose. Much of this book consists of long quotations from the authors' works, including diary entries and correspondence. The relationship between Evelyn and his father is the best developed and the old man's preference for Evelyn's less renoun brother Alec is deeply elaborated. Be assured that the author spares nothing for relations sake. At one point, he criticizes another contemporary biographer for describing a family member's genitals and concedes that this is beyond the pale. However, thanks to decades of journal-keeping and inter-generational speculation, the Waughs are presented more nakedly than any camera could reveal. I blushed for them repeatedly.
   
   I don't know if this is a true picture of how things were, but I do know that I've read a thoroughly engrossing family tale that gives superb insight into the social and literary events of twentieth century England. Fathers and Sons is required reading for all future explorations of Waviana.



3. After hearing Alexander Waugh discuss this book on a radio program recently, I felt compelled to buy it. He spoke so intelligently and humorously on the subject of the Waugh family's male line. Unfortunately, his enthusiasm does not translate onto the written page. Some very funny dialogue and events are lost amongst the author's determination in sticking to the theme of father and son's and their relationships and the minutae of dreary details and long recitations of dreadful poetry and dull diary entries. If the reader is already well-informed about the Waugh line, he/she might find the book illuminating with some valuable insight about the subject. I, however, knew little on the subject, and many interesting details Mr Waugh might have put in the book, he declines to, to it's detriment. I found the book, on the whole, a dissapointing muddle of quotes, memories and long drawn-out diary entries. This book could have doen with some careful editing.



4. I have not finished this book yet, but so far it is an enjoyable and interesting read.
   
   I am a Waugh fan, and have most of their books, which are very enjoyable. Generally all the reader knows of a writer or family of writers is what is written on the dust jacket. Fathers and Sons is a real eye-opener into the private lives of these gifted writers - rude, crude, funny, sentimental, intelligent, ironic, and sad. I highly recommend it.



5. The result of his labors is Fathers and Sons, one of the most unusual works of biographical memoir ever written. In this remarkable history of father-son relationships in his family, Alexander Waugh exposes the fraught dynamics of love and strife that has produced a succession of successful authors. Based on the recollections of his father and on a mine of hitherto unseen documents relating to his grandfather, Evelyn, the book skillfully traces the threads that have linked father to son across a century of war, conflict, turmoil and change. It is at once very, very funny, fearlessly candid and exceptionally moving--a supremely entertaining book that will speak to all fathers and sons, as well as the women who love them.
   
   There was a similar story of a very Wealthy Step-mother that took care of her husband as if He were her only son. She also loved and cared deeply for his sons and daughters. she spoiled them so much, giving them money just to buy their love. she quickly noticed that the only way that she could get them to visit their father, was to write them a check. she noticed that there was one son that was always there for them and she left Him in charge, to be the Guardian, the Keeper and the Sentinal that would prevent the others to come and take advantage of their father. When she passed away, The Son took charge of his father and quickly noticed that the other brothers and sisters stopped visiting their father. They began a Cold War with the Guardian and treated the Father as if He too had died. This is the darkest and most despicable treatment of a father. This is a true story and it is ongoing...Stay tuned!
   
   Noel Serrano

5 comments about The Woman at the Washington Zoo: Writings on Politics, Family, and Fate.

1. I used to read Marjorie Williams in the Washington Post, and was reminded of her work when her exceptionally moving essay "Hit by Lightning" was in a "best of" book by multiple authors. It was so good that I simply had to read this collection of only her work.
   
   The finest essays and profiles here are wonderful. The writing is outstanding, and ranges from great insight to humor and sadness and to the biting remark that takes down somebody famous a notch or two.
   
   My favorites were (besides "Hit by Lightning"):
   
   - "The Alchemist", a previously unpublished profile of her mother. What an exploration of a mother's relationship to her daughter and (presumably) perceptive view of her mother's life!
   
   - "Scenes from a Marriage" - oh, my, how it drills into the relationship between Clinton and Gore, after the 2004 election and back into their time in office. This essay was justifiably well-known.
   
   - "Bill Clinton, Feminist" - Ms. Williams shreds the feminists who defended President Clinton in his sexual escapades, while disregarding the women involved. She doesn't even break a sweat. Brutal and delightful reading.
   
   - "The Halloween of My Dreams" - her final column, about her daughter's Halloween, the last Halloween Ms. Williams would see.
   
   - The profiles of Jeb Bush and Barbara Bush, both of which offered fresh insights and information.
   
   - Of the columns, many of which are first rate, I particularly liked the one on Princess Diana's death (I'm not sure why, to be honest) and one on assisted suicide.
   
   The book actually got off to a slow start for me. The first two profiles were relatively dated and uninteresting, and the third, on Richard Darman, was wonderfully crafted, but I found myself not that curious about someone who moved rapidly into footnote status. However, Darman's profile had one of the best lines in the entire book: "As always, the vapor of self-certainty leaks off him like rocket fuel". Didn't these people know who they were up against in Marjorie Williams?
   
   The short columns included are mostly very good, yet they also suffer from the usual fate of newspaper columns, in that they don't age that well, as the topic in hand often quickly becomes old news. Ms. Williams is far from alone in that fate, of course, so some of these pieces serve as a reminder of past news to reconsider with hindsight and contemplate what has happened since.



2. This book made me realize how painful it could be to at sometimes for the lack of a better word be a " dubmass " It took me a lot of brushing up on my reading skills to fully appreceiate this book and it was very insightfull just as the other books that were recomened to me to be read if I liked this one were. It also taught me that caring=sharing which can cause mass confusion sometimes to people who need to improve there reading skills which in turn = understanding and then ultimatly joy and happiness for many years to come. However this just could be a hopeful thought, but I would like to think it holds true for all readers especially the ones that would enjoy reading A year of Magical Thinking, where I think it says something about country boys being of big hearts are stubborn and rarely give up on anything.



3. No, this isn't about the typical zoon--but about the "Zoo" that is Washington, D.C.
   
   Marjorie Williams, a journalist for the Washington Post, had a sense of unrelenting refusal to deal with just the surface reality--but find the truth beneath.
   
   Sitting here in the Midwest, some of these stories, some of the people are not players we hear about every day, but some were.
   
   Marjorie and Tim Noah (Senior writer for Slate) were married in 1990. In 2001, happy and healthy, Marjorie discovered a lump in her lower abdomen and after much effort, died in 2005 from liver cancer at the age of 47. Tim has selected what he feels are her most revealing columns written about politicians, the shakers and movers of Washington's social ad business life, and about her family.
   
   As an outsider I enjoyed reading about insiders like Ambassador Lucky Roosevelt and her long marriage, and other characters that made good reading.
   
   Jennifer Senior, New York Times Book Review said, "Williams was a crowbar, prying great quotes from her sources, and she found herself face to face with rather intimate details of their life."
   
   So true, whether she was writing about Bill and Hillary, the couple that always give us something to talk about, her own illness, her mother's illness, or her children--her observations were always sharp and often sweet.
   
   Some of my favorites were her most personal stories, like The Cat Race about how she was "going to raise her children," that is, until she actually had children. This felt very familiar.
   
   The Art of Fake (and Useful) Apology, (in the news again as I write this) used by politicians reminds us that this happens far too often.
   
   With another Presidential campaign heating up, Williams takes us back to 1992 when Al Gore was running for President (without hitching his star to Clinton). Her article, "Scenes from a Marriage" is about that time, and the end of that "marriage" and the not-too-obvious divorce of Clinton and Gore.
   
   Sadly the world will never again read about current events from her.
   
   Armchair Interviews says: This book was a New York Times Bestseller.



4. Really two books. One, a series of pieces about inside Washington stories, often with characters who are largely off stage but important in how things get done in the seat of empire. Rather than the usual insider's view, Ms. Williams has an extraordinarily keen eye for seeing what is there for all to see, perhaps along the lines of I.F. Stone's insistence on using only attributed sources. The second book is an account of her diagnosis and subsequent experiences with an ultimately fatal cancer, its impact on her life, outlook, work, as well and an account of her medical care.



5. I bought this book primarily because I enjoy memoir and it was represented in the media as a collection of personal essays by a woman who fought what was eventually a losing battle with cancer.
   
   In fact, the personal essays comprise the smaller part of this collection. Most pieces are in-depth political commentary or profiles of Washington, D.C. personalities. I'm not interested in that subject matter at all.
   
   To correct one of the other reviewers, this collection was compiled after Williams' death by her husband. It contains material that she apparently never intended to publish. But long-time fans of Williams should not fault *her* for what was and was not included in the book, since these decisions were made posthumously.
   
   Williams was a gifted writer -- insightful, precise, and painfully honest. I enjoyed the personal essays immensely (particularly the piece about her complex relationship with her mother) and even found myself reading and enjoying the political essays.

5 comments about Alternadad: The True Story of One Family's Struggle to Raise a Cool Kid in America.

1. I find it amusing when reviewers argue that Neal's funny and engaging book isn't such a big deal because a lot of people have kids and like alternative music. That's right, but 99.9 percent of them can't write about it in any sort of entertaining way. I loved this book and laughed throughout. It takes a special skill as a writer to tell other people about your everyday routine and make it interesting for nearly 300 pages. The only time I got angry was when Neal went off on Thomas the Train.



2. I bought this book for my husband on his first Father's Day. He loves it and he often reads segments of it to me that he finds particularily funny.



3. Unlike apparently many reviewers here, I am not familiar with Neil Pollack's previous books and other published articles in magazines and webzines. But when I saw this book at my local library, I simply couldn't resist picking this up.
   
   In "Alternadad" (290 pages), author Neil Pollack basically brings a memoir of his life so far, and the book can be divided in two parts, the early part, living in Chicago and eventually meeting his wife, and then the next part, involving moving to/living in Philadelphia and Austin and, of course, becoming a dad at age 33. I have to wonder what the book's title "Alternadad" is really all about. The author likes alternative music, but so what? Many people do too (reason I was tempted by the book's title in the first place). Yet, there is really nothing much "alternative" about how they are raising their son: the baby watches Sesame Street and eats cereal like millions of kids; the author frequents Target and other places that millions of Americans go to, and dotes on his young son, pretty much luke most parents actually. Or is it perhaps due to taking his young son to the Austin City Limits music festival? "I looked at the roster. Franz Ferdinand! the Killers! The Soundtrack of Our Lives! Modest Mouse! I imagined myself saying to my son, 'Elijah, we took you to see Moudest Mouse before you were even two'. Not Mickey Mouse, Modest Mouse! I was going to be the coolest dad ever!" Except that when the festival rolled around, he realizes that it's way too hot to enjoy it and abandons the idea after the first day. Or wondering what age it will be appropriate to watching his favorite movie, "Airplace", with his son. Etc.
   
   In all, the book certainly couldn't live up to the intruiging title of the book. In fact, I'd venture to say that this is pretty much how millions and millions of moms and dads are raising their sons and daughters. If this is "alternative" in the author's view, I cannot even begin to wonder what "middle of the road" would be like.



4. Neal seems to miss the entire point of being "COOL", Cool people do not brag about their "coolness", you either are or your not. This Book is just his vain attempt of not to realize he is amazingly boring and uncool.



5. Alternadad is a funny, at times touching, memoir of marriage and parenting. Though Pollack is no Sedaris in the humor department (at no point in reading Alternadad did my sides split), credit where it's due: he does have an eye for quirky details, connections, and language. Above all, Pollack emerges from the pages of this memoir as an eminently likeable person, and -- together with his wife -- a seemingly very decent parent: the kind of guy I'd like to hang out with. Having just finished this slightly overlong memoir, I am left only to wonder what's so "Alterna" about this particular dad. Pollack seems pretty much like the next guy, trying to earn a living, provide for his family, instill proper values in his child, etc. (If that's alternative, I'd be curious to know what Pollack considers middle of the road.) In the end, I enjoyed setting a spell with the Pollack family.

5 comments about Still Waters.

1. All I can say is, Wow. I picked up Lauck's first book, "Blackbird" at the library and loved it. So right after I finished it I bought Still Waters. I read it in about 2 days.
   
   A lot happens in her life. A lot happens in many of our lives. But the way Lauck sees things that go on in her life and in the world, are special. Her books opened my mind and my heart.
   
   Saying this is a memoir about a dysfunctional family does not do this book justice. Yes, her family is dysfunctional, but her attitude and experiences and how she draws these into her world view, are all woven through her book in a way that I wanted it to never end.
   
   Another thing, many sequels re-hash much of what happened in the first book. And for those of us who have read the first book, it's a bore to read about all this re-hashing. "Still Waters" does not do this. I really appreciated the fluidity with which Jennifer Lauck wrote her sequel.
   
   I look forward to more from this gifted writer.



2. I now know what author to avoid..she does have a third memoir out but I won't be reading her again!!



3. This is a sequel to her book Blackbird. Both novels are so very interesting. You won't believe everything this girl has been through, and how she not only survives, but goes on to live a sucessful life. Both novels are hard to put down as you cannot wait to read what happens next.



4. I will be honest ~~ this book did not move me to tears like "Blackbird" did ~~ but it did make me angry ~~ really angry and disgusted with human beings, especially those who are in charge of taking care of the children who need them. I was so relieved when I read the ending of "Blackbird" that Jennifer was going to be rescued by her father's family (though I was really confused as to why Aunt Georgia and Uncle Charles didn't pick her up at the bus stop since they were the ones that went looking for the Lauck kids in L.A.). Then I picked this book up, the sequel to "Blackbird" and finished it in two days.
   
   This is a fast paced book ~~ it skims a lot of Jennifer's growing up years but it dealt with her anger and frustrations. She was separated from her brother, Bryan, as he "chose" to live with Uncle Leonard and Aunt Sylvia. Jennifer didn't get to choose ~~ after spending several weeks with her grandparents, her father's parents, (a few weeks where she began her healing process and started to feel safe) she was sent to live with Peggy and Dick, her father's youngest sister and husband. From the very beginning, Dick made her feel like that she was never welcomed. Peggy was inconsistent with her behavior and gradually became meaner to her over the years, in spite of the fact that she loved Jennifer's mother and was one of her closest friends. Jennifer grew up in various places in the Northwest, confused, lonely and gradually getting angrier. Shuffled among different relatives, enduring sexual abuse, emotional abuse, basically being her aunt and uncle's (though they eventually adopted her) housekeeper/cook and on and on. The dishonesty of her relatives boils me ~~ and no wonder why Jennifer was so angry and bitter by the time she made her escape at the age of 18.
   
   Then her brother committed suicide. Bryan was never close to Jennifer and she mistakenly thought he had the "better" life since he was an all A student, and so handsome. When Jennifer finally went on a journey to discover peace and the truth of what happened to her family and how it impacted her, she discovered so much more about Bryan that the reader ends up grieving for him too. By the end of the book, Jennifer has faced her demons and rediscovered the youth she missed out on by enjoying her son's life. She was able to find peace again.
   
   This book is about surviving. This book is about finding peace in the worst that life can offer you. This book is an inspiration to all people ~~ regardless of how they live their lives. This book is just a wonderful sequel to the first one and for once, it shows that someone can have a happy ending in spite of it all. It shows how some people can survive neglect and abuse and how some people can't. It shows the power of forgiveness and the power of letting go.
   
   This is one that I will definitely recommend to my book club to read ~~ it provides so much fodder for conversation just by reading these alone! It is not easy reading but sometimes, readers just need to be reminded that life isn't always easy and reading about someone else's struggles can affirm our sense of survival. At least Jennifer's story did.
   
   7-10-07



5. This book was given to me as a gift, and I was pleasantly surprised. It pulled me in immediately and kept me on the edge of my seat. I would highly recommend this one to get lost in for a little while. I can relate to so many of the descriptions. A great read!

5 comments about Absent Memories: Moving Forward When You Can't Look Back.

1. "Absent Memories", is a great read. Our existence can change in a day. Rebecah may not have intended to become an advocate for people with memory problems, but she is. I wish this author continual success.



2. While reading Absent Memories, I had to pause several times to absorb what the author went through. After five hours I finished. This is one of those books that once you start you can't put down.
   
   Until reading this book I never really thought much about memory. I took it for granted. When I thought about it, I recalled that when family members get together past memories always come up. When friends gather memories of the good old days are hashed over and over again.
   
   It was hard to imagine not being able to remember my parents, or how much fun my brothers and sister had growing up.
   
   I was amazed by how quick she had to learn how to make a living, let alone cope with a strange new world. She lived alone but couldn't remember her past work experience or education. I can see why there would be fear and panic. It must have been horrific to wake up each day with such feelings.
   
   Absent Memories helped me to understand that people with disabilities are ordinary people like everyone else and are capable of doing anything if given the opportunity and support.
   
   This a very well written book and a must for all to read.



3. A facinating book that reveals insights into patterns of human relationships we all learned as children but to which we no longer attend. But what happens if those patterns are suddenly removed?
   
   What if your diplomas and certifications suddenly become meaningless; you can't remember anything you were taught? References to Watergate, Nixon, the Beatles, Rowan & Martin's Laugh-in, hold no memories and no meaning. Yet, for a strange reason you can't recall, you have those albums and tapes.
   
   Worse, you're shown a stanger and told the man is your father, but you can't remember him? More mystifying is his emotional attachment to you! Sisters you can't remember seem upset with your past, lost to you, though they obviously remember. And you can't even miss growing up with your father or sisters just like you can't miss the guy or girl you didn't marry at school; because you have no memories of something that didn't happen. How do you grieve over something you can't recall?
   
   For this author, Ms. Propst, all of the above is not only true, but honestly discussed. The author shares her questions at each phase of her sometimes difficult re-education. After all, at 47, she was as inclined to believe there was a "free lunch" as not. She soon found plenty of unscrupulous people willing to teach her.
   
   The writing is tight, the prose short but sprinkled with the occasional verbal garnish. "Crises will march into our lives like Huns bent on destruction," is but one example. The read is shorter than you might think at 120 pages, but very intense as you almost constantly view her world from behind her "new" eyes.
   
   In fact, this story reminded me of the Jason Bourne movies - suddenly you wake up and can't remember who you were. And Ms. Propst found adult reality and re-education almost as fast, difficult and sometimes cruel as the CIA trying to reel in a rogue agent. Inspiring, insightful and ultimately optimistic, this book deserves a home in most libraries.
   
   Brad R. Leach



4. I enjoyed readiang Absent Memories. I am always amazed when I learn about a unique obstacle someone has had to face. Beki's story is a moving testament as to how such obstacles can be overcome. It makes one look at one's own life obstacles and how they can be dealt with in a more positive way. Absent Memories is a good reminder that persistence and faith in oneself can overcome most any difficulty.



5. Absent Memories
   
   What would it be like to wake up one morning and discover that the door into the memories of your past was closed to you...not just closed, but locked? It is hard to imagine such a thing.
   
   "Absent Memories" is a profile in courage. It is the chronicle of one woman's effort through tenacity and force of will to "just get on with it" when there was no foundation of experience to build on.
   
   It is a march done in fear and trembling; but done with humor and joy at each new find. There in lies a tale with lessons that all of us can learn.

1 comments about No Man's Land.

1. This is a complete waste of time i read and it's obviously about a woman coming from another country trying to make a quick dollar off the backs of hard working americans. She worked in this famous or infamous Gentlemen's club called scores for a couple of months, Working two days a week trying to dig dirt on American celebrities! When she didnt get anything for her up coming book, She tried to write a tell-all-book and i emphasize the word (book} on the club. Everything that she writes about is old news and gossip, Her book which isn't selling at all, is terrible. So she concocts a story of a steak dinner being thrown in her face and not being able to work for a week and being forced to give oral sex to a manager meanwhile staying at this place while any normal woman would have quit and sued immediately not to mention seeking employment elsewhere. Now trying to sue a defunct business three years after the fact. She shows a photo of herself in the book and as they say in England
   EGADS what an ugly Wankor! She needs to seek medical attention, One for her self loathing , And a plastic surgeon for her looks. thanks a real american dancer!

No comments about Remembering Sam: A Wartime Story of Love Loss and Redemption.

5 comments about A Stranger to Myself: The Inhumanity of War: Russia, 1941-1944.

1. Of all the countless memiors written by German veterans of the Eastern Front, A STRANGER TO MYSELF is the most unique I've yet read. It distinguishes itself from the "field gray flood" of nonfiction books on the Russian campaign in two very distinct ways: first, the author, Willy Peter Reese, did not live to see his scattered notes, many scribbled by the light of a cigarette, get published; he was killed in action in Russia in 1944. Second, Reese was not writing a mere litany of combat experiences and behind-the-lines hijinks but rather a deeply introspective, quasi-metaphysical self-portrait of a thoughtful young man in the midst of a war he neither agreed with nor understood.
   
   Willy Reese seems to have been a rather tortured soul well before he was drafted into Hitler's army - he had a tendency to brooding and seems to have been somewhat anguished about the meaning of life, not to mention oversensitive to its vulgarity and cruelty. The military service did not sit well with him, and he nursed a deep disgust for the Nazis and their cult of anti-intellectualism and brutality. By the time he got to Russia he seems to have given up on the human race, which made what he saw and experienced there all the more horrifying for him.
   
   Roughly 32 million people died on the Eastern Front between 1941 - 1944, the majority of them Russian civilians, and Reese himself survived long enough to see enough carnage for 1,000 lifetimes. He expected war to be horrible; what he did not expect was that he himself would willingly perpetrate some of this horror, and learn to do so with a smile on his face. Such was his transformation, from vaguely pacifistic poet to stone-faced hunter of his own species, that he came to feel that he had changed into someone that he did not know - a stranger to himself. Trapped between who he had been and who he was becoming, his only release ("spiritual morphine") came in writing down his experiences, notes which, after his death in combat, his mother would later organize into this book.
   
   American war literature tends to be very straightforward, and so it's no surprise a lot of people feel that Reese was a pretentious pseudo-intellectual trying to impress his audience with his vocabulary and intellect. After all, many of the book's passages are taken up with philosophical contemplations of the meaning of existence, the human soul, the relationship of man to nature, and the cycle of life and death. And Reese is the sort who doesn't step over a rock, he picks it up and contemplates its place in the Scheme of Things, sometimes with a seriousness that may seem silly to a (further) Westerner. This will be very annoying to a lot of readers who want their "war" books heavy on the "war" and light on the half-mystical philosophizing, but what readers and critics must understand is that Reese was merely a product of his times and of his country. German education heavily stressed philosophy, history, mythology, and classic literature, and Germans as a rule have a very deep connection to nature. This tends to effect their writing, and it deeply effected Reese's. You can love it or hate it (or something in between), but you shouldn't view it as affected - it was quite genuine.
   
   A STRANGER TO MYSELF is not without its gripping moments. Like one of his influences, Ernst Jünger, Reese often digresses into turgid rambling, but just like Jünger, these tedious passages almost always give way to beautifully written and vivid descriptions - when Reese describes the horrible fury of the Russian winters, the plagues of lice, the stench of decomposing corpses, the terrible exhaustion and thirst of a long march in the Ukrainian sun, the pathos of a dead soldier "whose rigored hands refused to yield his rifle", you feel these things as certainly as if you were experiencing them yourself.
   
   A STRANGER TO MYSELF is an important book, one which approaches an unbelievably savage conflict from the perspective of a man who was quite aware of what the war was doing to him, but powerless to stop it. And that theme of powerlessness, of being swept along the currents of Fate by forces he did not understand, is part of what makes the book such a poignant and necessary read. The Eastern Front was a hell that only one in four of the German soldiers who served in lived to talk about, and while Reese did not survive, his voice rings very loud indeed.



2. This was a very interesting book that was written by an average soldier that had an above average intellect. This young man would have been "somebody" if he had survived the war. Unfortunately, he did not and these pages show his view of the war in the East. The book itself does jump around, but this can be understood since it is written by a 20 year old that is trying to understand something that can't be understood. War. Take it for what it is. These pages were written for himself in order to help him find his sanity. This should be taken into account before reviewing the item. You may not like its format or lack of combat detail, but it is about a soldier of intellect trying to search his soul. It is a moving book if you read it with an open mind. Indeed, put yourself in his boots and out of your comfortable armchair and how would you have done?
   
   Viele Gruesse!



3. A young soldiers diary of his years on the Russian front. Ending near the time of his death it recounts the price humanity pays for war.



4. Ok, this book initially was slow going. Also, it was also unlike any of the German memoirs of the war such as the Forgotten Soldier. Reese was probably much too thoughtful for a regular infantry grunt in the German Army. Also, he mentions his comrades in only two or three entries. Reese talks about the inhumanity of war in Russia. Not only does he describe his unit's description of their brutality, he relates how war in general is inhumane to both civilians and the soldiers that wage it. There are some biting descriptions in this book of retreats that cost the Germans greatly. The loss of life is tremedous, and eventually the soldiers become desensitized to the brutality and loss of life. They make jokes when poking at dead partisans hanging from some trees.
   
   This book reminds me of the Red Badge of Courage. The authors are both literate and highly sensitive people. However, for those interested in the conflict between Red Russia and Nazi Germany, this might be a less than satisfactory read. The loss of Reese in this conflict is sad, and makes a tragic ending, as he loved life.



5. More literary than military, more abstract than concrete, Willy Peter Reese's memoir of his experiences on the Eastern Front offers a window into the soul of a man as it and he are crushed by the brutalities of modern war.
   
   Reese provides few details about the tangibles of the war. No comrades or units are named. No dates are given. Few geographical locations are mentioned. Battles are described in the vaguest of terms; the reader doesn't encounter 88s or Tigers, doesn't hear about tactics. For these things, we have to read Guy Sajer or Otto Carius. Instead, Reese is interested in something more subtle, more indefinable, more psychological: as he puts it, "war as an aesthetic problem," specifically, the problem of describing HOW a man experiences war, not solely WHAT he experiences -- how he perceives war and describes it, how his mind, body, and soul change.
   
   As such, the book won't be for everyone, certainly not those who prefer to read about war's technical aspects. Still, Reese offers a unique perspective on the Eastern Front, on World War II, and warfare in general. At times difficult to penetrate, at others repetitive, it is nevertheless worth reading.