5 comments about Breaking Rank: A Top Cop's Expose of the Dark Side of American Policing.

1. This book is good on two levels. On one level, it includes excellent story-telling and is just plain interesting to read as a memoir. From beat cop in the dysfunctional San Diego police department to Seattle police chief overseeing the security at the 1999 WTO summit (remember, the protestors won?) this is a page turner.
   
   On a more important level, Norm Stamper provides a lot of valuable insights into police reform. Those cities fortunate enough to have a citizen's review board might take inspiration from Stamper's mostly progressive vision. Those cities without review boards might take inspiration to create some fast from Stamper's chapter-by-chapter accounting of abuse, misuse and incompetent leadership in policing.
   
   The one rock Stamper leaves un-turned is, what is the root of crime in society? Progressive reforms would lead to more effective, less Gestapo management of crime. But folks will have to ask themselves about a society that produces so much physical and sexual violence in the first place...



2. Although I agree with several of Mr. Stamper's recommendations (legalizing prostitution, decriminalizing drugs), many of his assertions are straight out of the "I-Hate-America" handbook. All white, male cops -and even many black ones - are racsist, homophobic, women-hating thugs. What we need is a kinder, gentler way of policing.
   Mr. Stamper had a brief career as a police officer before his real career of supervisory bureacrat began. He "confesses" that in his rookie year he was on his way to becoming one of the bad cops before he was set right by a straight-shootin' DA. It was apparently then that his liberal sensitivities kicked in, and soon he was a supervisor (all the better to control the average Joe).
   The unfortunate thing about this book isn't the stories he relates, or even his recommendations (some good, some not so good), but the haughty way in which he relates it. Conservatives, Republicans - BAD! Liberals, Democrats - GOOD! (except for unions - bad!) If this book were written with respect not only for the majority of rank and file cops, but for the other half of Americans that Mr. Stamper obviously disdains, it may have been worth the money. As it is, if you are to the right of Hillary, take a pass on this one.



3. The book was extremely honest and forthright. More police officers should have the courage to write their own tell all stories to break down the "Blue Wall." The downside to the author is that he told this after the fact. However, the lessons learned will help new police officers coming on the job, realize that law enforcement is a different beast.



4. Norm Stamper, much like the late Seattle School Superintendant John Stanford was considered a cutting edge leader in the public sector during the '90s. This was an exciting period in Seattle history and featured the dot com boom and the rise of such businesses as Microsoft, Starbucks and this website.
   Norm Stampers book offers his views of the problems faced by police departments, many of which were featured in the fictional 2006 Oscar winning movie Crash.
   Norm present many of his ideas of reform, some of which I can agree with and some of which I cannot.
   The book is hard to put down once you start reading it and I would recommend it to anyone.



5. Stamper doesn't hold back - he outlines his experiences, sucesses, and failures. The book is organized around issues that are important to Stamper, such as community policing, gun control, death penalty, and the like.
   
   Even if you do not agree with all of his conclusions the book still makes for a great read.

No comments about Dream Me Home Safely: Writers on Growing Up in America.

3 comments about Quick, Before the Music Stops: How Ballroom Dancing Saved My Life.

1. It's as if Ms. Carlson is throwing a lifeline to those of us whose marriages are in need of rescue, even though she acknowledges she learned her lessons too late to save her own. Having followed her columns in Town & Country over the years, I've found this author has always been really forthright about her own issues in order to help other women. The same compassion and surprising insights are in this book. I've already applied some of her wisdom...with good results. Not only that, for the first time, I'm beginning to understand America's fascination with Dancing With The Stars. Something that's always puzzled me! Now I'm on the lookout for dancing classes near my home...but will make sure my husband comes along! Thanks Janet!



2. Because my hubby and I took up, by a twist of fate, ballroom dancing about 5 years ago, my daughter and family sent me this book for my birthday. Ballroom dancing becomes a love. One could be at the studio each day. The instruction never ceases and as you move from one instructor to the other, each better than before. Building blocks are erected. I actually picked up some very valuable pointers, as one does constantly, in my own technique reading thru Janet's story. The reality of putting dance either first or second in one's life can be disturbing. It is a very expensive pursuit when one competes. And, it is more than true, as I have first hand witnessed, that marriages suffer, and break up, because one partner is so dazzled by the artistic thrill of becoming a better dancer. I somehow believe that Janet could have saved her marriage. But, I also believe she did not want to; and her husband didn't have a clue. One needs to remember, even Janet, that it is the very few who reach the stars, and it is a short time up in the clouds as one of the best. It is a female's ballroom dancing experience for sure.



3. I loved this book! Janet Carlson's indepth understanding of Ballroom Dancing and how she relates dance partnership with everyday family relationships is brilliant! I think men AND women will get something out of her book. I found that i couldn't put it down once i started reading it.

5 comments about Someday My Prince Will Come: True Adventures of a Wannabe Princess.

1. Ms. Fine has a fantastically self-effacing sense of humor. The contrast between her upbringing and her desires could not be a more charming contradiction. I bought the book on a whim and read it in one sitting that same day. For anyone who secretly desires fame or dreams of a charmed life, this book has a double gift of showing that a charmed life is what you create for yourself, not necessarily what lands in your lap. And clearly Ms. Fine captures the sense that she has enjoyed the pursuit of a dream and all that unexpectedly unfolds because of it.
   
   The brilliance lies in the premise being at once so absurd and simultaneously believably possible -- and with that it is the true stuff of fairy tales. But of the best possible kind. The real kind.



2. Miss Fine's book was a wonderful read and a true testament to the hardships of following a dream against all odds. I wished for a happier ending (she should have gotten the man, not that Canadian girl).
   
   The only thing I can say is "great job Miss Fine", and wonder if a matrimonial agency for aristocrats might be in your future business plans???



3. I like to vary my reading diet, and this was a great bite in the chick-lit buffet. It was fun, honest and humorous -- keeping me glued till the end. For someone who's looking for a story to keep you happily distracted, this is the book for you. Jerramy Fine was extremely focused and dedicated to her dream, which is always refreshing. I finished it with a smile.



4. I was very impressed with Jerramy's honesty of her story and her ability to laugh at herself. She writes with such intelligence and wit while telling her story that it makes it difficult to put down the book as it left me wondering what was going to happen next. I found it very easy to relate to her story and her desire for something more. I also grew up in a small town in Colorado and found myself reliving my childhood as she spoke about county fairs, pick-up trucks with rifles hanging on the gun rack. I know exactly what she was talking about when she describes moving to a new, strange city where you expect so much right away. I also loved reading about the different men she was interested in and I'm glad to know that I'm not the only girl in the world who didn't get that call after the "perfect evening"! Haha!
   Thank you, Jerramy, for sharing your wonderful story!



5. I picked this book up before a long car ride, hoping for something light and interesting. While I did find this book interesting enough to at least finish, it was a sappy, insipid piece of work that made me greatly dislike the character, and as a result, the author.
   
   I agree with another reviewer that her character was flat, with no real growth in personality throughout the book - drink, party, drink, party, make out, get dumped, make fun of parents, drink, party. Does she ever really learn about love, friendship and the pursuit of something greater than being English Royalty? It doesn't seem so - the last chapter serves as an "epilogue" but the jump from the chapter before to that doesn't show that the author/character has actually learned anything.
   
   The sheer amount of alcohol in this book makes it inappropriate for teenagers (I'm surprised anyone thought it was), but really, this book is a waste of time for any reader.

5 comments about A Long Retreat: In Search of a Religious Life.

1. My thanks to Andrew Krivak for sharing his powerful journey! I benefited from learning about the discernment process of the Jesuits, how vocations are developed, and how very important the relationships between the "baby" Jesuits are. As a Catholic and a someone familiar with his region of Pennsylvania, his story hit home as a powerful & poignant read graced with poetic language I will revisit often.



2. A LONG RETREAT is a fascinating look at formation in the Society of Jesus. The title of the book alludes to the Thirty Day Retreat that is a part of the beginning and end of Jesuit formation, but it's also a metaphor for his eight years author Andrew Krivak spent in a Jesuit formation program. We meet him as he is about to begin his journey with the Jesuits and continue with him as he begins his theological studies as he draws closer to priesthood. He discusses the discernment process as he enters the order and also the same discernment process that eventually led him to a vocation outside of the order.
   
   Krivak shares a number of experiences and anecdotes about formation with the reader that shows how the writings of St. Ignatius of Loyola and Ignatian spirituality are lived in a day to day context. We also see his initial enthusiasm fro religious life and believe he will persevere as a Jesuit, yet as the book continues, we also begin to see he may be called elsewhere. He also discusses a number of conflicts he has, some rather serious, others trivial, so we always remember we are accompanying someone who is very human.
   
   The story contained in A LONG RETREAT is compelling, Krivak tells it in a somewhat poetic manner with beautiful writing. He also writes it in a memoir style rather than a biographical one so the reader enters into his experiences and shares his joys, struggles, and pain. It is also unique in that we hear about the formation process from someone who does not finish with priesthood, and is able to see and share the lessons he learned during his time as a Jesuit. It is also refreshing to read an account of someone who left religious life has his appreciation of both the Jesuits and Catholic Church. While it is not uncommon for a person to have this perspective, all too often the horror stories are the accounts that make it into print which give a somewhat biased and skewed perspective. This is not the case in A LONG RETREAT. If anything, I believe we can expect to see Andrew Krivak become an important Catholic writer.



3. Wonderful memoir! Very well written and poetically conveyed journey. Clear and aesthetically pleasing in its own distillation of the lifestyle and ritual, but also containing many subtle themes which seem to cut across many religious cultures and spiritual journeys. Krivak has written an unassuming and honest story. There is no arrogance of certainty which other authors sometimes seem to portray. Krivak's story is believable and passionate. Thoroughly enjoyed from beginning to end and would recommend to anyone inclined to spiritual connection and understanding, whether religious or not.



4. I must admit I like books about people who embark on vocations, religious and otherwise. So no surprise that I wanted to read this book. I've met a few Jesuits, including one enrolled in my doctoral program many years ago
   (he dropped out the first year) and one who (I suspect) was asked to leave.
   
   This book is less about a spiritual journey than a detailed, blow-by-blow account of life in the contemporary post-Berrigan Jesuit order. Frankly, the life seems mostly pleasant, or else the author had such a strong vocation he rolled with the punches. And it's likely the arduous selection process worked.
   
   I must admit I skimmed some of the spiritual angst and introspection sections, but there really weren't very many. Krivak tells a story of very smart, sane superiors, some really satisfying friendships, and meaningful work experiences. Except for some bad food here and there (and escape to the local steak house often was possible), and an uncomfortable bed or two, I didn't get a sense of hardship. Sure, he didn't get his first choice of teaching jobs, but to be able to teach English and writing at all would be a rare privilege for many professors and doctoral candidates out there.
   
   Since the jacket blurb refers to Krivak's new life as husband and father, it's probably not giving away the store to say that he ultimately fell in love and left the order. As his wife noted, he seemed to be more interested in writing and less in being a Jesuit.
   
   I see parallels between his life and the life of Karen Armstrong. I believe both made wise decisions to enter religious orders (call it a true vocation if you like). Both went on to use their experiences to build new lives and careers. Armstrong of course calls herself a "freelance monotheist" while Krivak, at least by the end of the book, remains firmly Catholic.
   
   With my own interest in career patterns and shifts, I enjoyed watching Krivak as he went on the journey.



5. Andrew Krivak's eight-year journey into, through, and out of the life of a Jesuit seminarian is captured in a memoir of poignancy, generosity, and spectacularly wonderful writing. He details with great honesty and sustaining intelligence the external challenges of his formation in the Society of Jesus (graduate philosophical studies, hospital work with AIDS patients, Russian language study in Moscow, and college teaching among other experiences). But, even more importantly, Krivak testifies with conviction about the movements of his own heart and soul as he struggled with the nature of his calling, the meaning of love, and his efforts in prayer and meditation to discern the full dimensions and import of his doubts and fears. One of the most remarkable spiritual autobiographies since Merton's SEVEN STOREY MOUNTAIN. An utterly captivating volume. I expect to read it again simply to savor the extraordinary beauty of the writing once more. (Disclosure: As a Jesuit myself, I knew Krivak during two years covered in this book. But, I've had no contact with him in over a decade and didn't quite know what to expect before picking up A LONG RETREAT. I'm so happy I did.)

5 comments about Between Panic and Desire (American Lives).

1. This is simply an amazing book: funny, accessible, poignant, avant garde, and silly all at the same time. It is an easy read, as it is organized in short, punchy chapters. If you were born in the 1950s or 60s, the book will be even more meaningful for you. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.



2. This really isn't a memoir in the conventional sense--and thank God for that. This sad-yet-funny montage provides a number of poignant glimpses into the life of a writer and a country: whether he's writing about Irish-Americana, 9/11, dropping acid, or dysfunctional fathers, Dinty Moore is poignant, honest and ultimately hopeful. No matter how much you think your country is screwed up, or how much you think you've screwed up, or how much you think your family screwed you up, read Panic and Desire. By the time you finish it you'll realize life is better than you thought.



3. Moore's fine sense of rhythm and wit carries us through this brief memoir. Under a stylish veil of humor and irony, Moore explores the universal human search for balance between panic and desire.



4. Or perhaps that should be "a gorgeously surprising memoir." Inventive in form, carefully beautiful in language, funny, unexpected, heartbreaking, amusing, filial, universal... this is not just a good read but a terrific choice for book groups or just sharing with a friend. If you've had a father, if you haven't had a father, if you are a father, or if you just know what it's like to be stuck between Panic and Desire (the real towns, or just the states of being), this is a book for you. Unreservedly recommended.



5. Early in his completely original and frequently hilarious memoir Between Panic & Desire, writer Dinty W. Moore learns that he has double vision. As a boy, he had just seen two of everything pretty much all of the time. That was his normal. Lucky for us, because Moore's singular way of looking back on his world--from families and marijuana, to Richard Nixon and the number nine (my personal favorite, number and chapter)--lets us witness more than just his personal history. Somehow Moore seems to see, simultaneously, what is funny and sad, momentous and fleeting, then and now. Between Panic & Desire is a trip worth taking. And I'd highly recommend letting Dinty W. Moore drive.

1 comments about Rose's Story.

1. In Rose's Story Wanda Bibb describes her life in painful detail and explains how her life was affected by her environment as well as her personal characteristics. She talks about everything from foster care and welfare, to her abuse as a child and an adult, as well as the birth of her children and her fight to keep them. The book illustrates how once a person has a mental diagnosis professionals they come in contact with tend to assume that any problems that person has is related to that diagnosis whether that be the case or not.
   
   It is impressive that during this book Ms. Bibb retains a positive attitude when ever she can and never seems to show ill will to those who have wronged her unless completely necessary where as many people in the same situation would be unable to do the same.

5 comments about My Life as a Traitor: An Iranian Memoir.

1. This searing, moving account of torture and imprisonment, as Patrick Clawson wrote in the Middle East Quarterly, could come from any totalitarian country where secret police meticulously record the activities of even the most innocent dissidents, apolitical people who simply want a little free space in their lives. Ghahramani's account of her interrogation in Tehran's Evin Prison is deeply personal and not particularly political in a grand philosophical sense. She comes across as someone who wants to be able to live her life to the fullest, not as a determined democrat burning to overthrow the tyrannical rule of the Islamist thugs who control Iran. Indeed, in her approach to life she seems very much like an average American university student.
   
   The contrast between Ghahramani and her prison interrogators could not be more extreme. She is thoroughly Westernized, fully committed to such Enlightenment values as individual self-worth and the inalienability of human freedom. Her interrogators are traditional Middle Easterners, valuing faith above reason, blind devotion above thought, conspiracy theories above facts, personal ties above the law, and groveling before authority figures above asserting their individuality. My Life as a Traitor lays bare the deep cultural divide running through Iranian society.
   
   The book also fleshes out why "totalitarian" is such an apt adjective for Iran's Islamic Republic. Ghahramani shows how the regime is determined to control even the smallest aspects of each person's life. She is shown pictures of her entering and leaving a male student's apartment--a grave offense against the state even though they were simply friends studying together. Comments she made in class that were implicitly critical of the regime were carefully recorded. And of course, partying is an unpardonable crime: Western music would be sin enough, let alone that the women may have been unveiled; people may have danced (even worse, possibly even as couples), and alcohol may have been served.
   
   In such a society, the very concept of liberty is subversive. Ghahramani's account makes clear the striking similarities between Iran's Islamic Republic and fascist Germany or the communist Soviet Union. The obvious differences in the ruling ideology in these three cases is in many ways less what makes them different from the West than the totalitarian control that the three share.



2. This is a story of a woman's ordeal of humiliation and torture for no reason other than she desired some small freedoms in her life and the lives of her people.
   With much of what we see in the news daily, it is easy to see Iran and its entire people as our enemy. This is not the case and we should never forget the people there who long to just be allowed to wear pink shoes and feel the sun on their hair.
   Well done Zarah, great book, I hope everyone reads it and I am happy to know that you have found freedom and peace. I pray that the country of Iran will also find freedom and that it's people will know the joy of pink shoes and sunshine.



3. This is an excellent, touching and mesmerizing story of courage and suffering. Ghahramani reveals her innemorst feelings throughout in a disarming way. Well written and interesting from the first to the last page. Brutality and torture are described vividly, yet not in a crude or brutal way. A good read and a must for everyone.



4. There are a number of good books out there on the atrocities that have gone on in the prisons of Iran and Iraq. What makes this book unique is that it explores in a very personal way the mind set of the tortured prisoner. The author does an excellent job of explaining her thoughts and feelings while incarcerated. She gives the torture she endured a very personal quality by explaining how even the smallest of psychological details were used to advantage by her captors, e.g., endless waiting and uncertainty, use of details about family to extract confessions, restricted personal hygiene, appeals to her vanity, etc. While the physical torture that she was subjected to was not as severe as that chronicled in some other books, it is clear that the psychogical component was inescapably devastating. A very open and honest recounting of human fraility and exploration of self. It will have you asking "What indeed is courage?"



5. The book is well-written and its a story that needs to be told---to help us understand oppression and the violation of human rights in today's Iran, and the dangerous conclusions arrived at by religious extremists who cause a inordinate amount of suffering in the world. However, it troubles me to know that this author, now safe in Australia, told details that could result in suffering for family and friends remaining in Iran. Zarah Ghahraman knows that the current regime tortures perceived ideological "enemies".
   
   Meanwhile, the Iranian government goes after adolescents who engage in age-appropriate teenage rebellions against authority. This is both ridiculous and dangerous and shows they are not fit to lead! The government's abuse is a far greater threat to their leadership than any student protests.

5 comments about Brainiac: Adventures in the Curious, Competitive, Compulsive World of Trivia Buffs.

1. Ken Jenning's writes as if he is talking with you. He is humble, modest, and yet you know, how bright he really is. His conversational style of writing reminds me of Stephen King. Even Ken's (and Stephen's) forewords and afterwords are interesting and fun to read. I was fascinated by the inside information Ken provided about Jeopardy and his incredible run as champion on the show. That was probably the best part of the book for me. He went into great detail about a huge radio trivia contest held in Wisconsin (I believe) every year. That was somewhat interesting, but I didn't really need quite as much detail as he provided. I, myself, participate in the interactive Buzztime trivia game which is available at many bars throughout the country. Ken gave a brief mention of some of those afficianados of the bar trivia game, but personally I thought he could have spent more time on that. These are people who play trivia year-round, competing with other people throughout the country, sometimes individually, sometimes on teams. They don't just spend one weekend a year doing it. I have since discovered Ken's blog, where he writes almost daily. It is great reading. He is a fascinating, multi-faceted individual, much more than the quiet un-assuming trivia-geek you might assume he is. I would recommend this book highly to anyone who is a Jeopardy or trivia fan.



2. It is a nice read. Lighthearted and really cool to have the little trivia inserted within the body of the text. I very much liked the way it was written and enjoyed it very much.



3. Let's face it: Ken Jennings is a trivia genius, a god of sorts (like Apollo, but not Zeus, a.k.a. Brad Rutter). What surprised me is that Ken is also an excellent writer. He weaves an engrossing tale of childhood gameshow fascination and information obsession that develops into a vehicle for fame and fortune. Yet Ken's modesty about his abilities suggests to me that he hasn't been changed much, if at all, by his successes.
   
   Note that Brainiac is more of a history of trivia competitions and America's preoccupation with quizzes than it is the endeavors of a single Jeopardy champion. Ken's own efforts are indeed detailed throughout the book, but that story is embedded in a larger tapestry that shows the blooming of trivia-related activities over the decades. The humor and interspersed trivia questions make this book one of my very favorites I've read in a while. Be sure to read this one, folks!



4. Ken is just hilarious, which is something you might not have gotten from his appearances on Jeopardy! His book is well written and fun to read, and his self-depreciating style makes him the world's most adorable nerd!



5. Trivia from the past to the present wrapped into an engaging story of one man's extroardinary run on Jeopardy. You even get to answer trivia questions along the way.
   
   Light and entertaining.

5 comments about The Rabbi's Daughter.

1. If one is familiar with the religious Jewish life the book grabs you until the last page. A few small points are interesting however. If she comes from a orthodox family why does her father as a rabbi use a loudspeaker on sabbath and kiss other woman? sounds a bit strange.... in addition the very specific language describing in full detail the sexual experiences where not needed to make the book a fantastic book. All in all very well written! Looking forward to her next book.



2. I finished this book in a day and found it very hard to put down.
   It reads as the memoir of a woman who grew up in a religious Jewish household, left the fray to lead a lifestyle of sex and "liberation" and returned to join the ultra-religious Hasidic community. The book promised to highlight the struggles a woman faced in choosing between a religious lifestyle and a non-religious one. And that is my biggest issue with the book. The religious lifestyle she describes consists of a joyless virtually loveless existence full of empty rules, stringencies, and empty relationships. The "non-religious" lifestyle she chooses consists of adultery, promiscuous sex, drug use, lesbianism, more drug use, and more promiscuous sex.
   I had truly wanted to relate to the author, as I am a (mostly happy) Orthodox woman myself, but I do question what "life on the other side of the fence" might be like from time to time. I found it impossible to do so for two reasons. First the author's experience of Judaism was skewed, extreme, and not an accurate glimpse of mainstream Orthodoxy. Second, her non-religious lifestyle disgusted me and I have a hard time believing most secular people engage in half the things the author happily did in her pursuit of a "non-religious" way of life.
   Like some other reviewers I found some of the incidents related strained belief. A woman who repeatedly professes to love G-d so much she joins the most extreme and ascetic Orthodox branch happily recounts how she lost her virginity in a synagogue of all places.
   Her emotions just did not ring true to me. Nor did I really get a sense of genuine spirituality coming from the author.
   I hope anyone reading this book realizes the views of this author are extreme and her experiences are not shared by the majority of Orthodox Jewish women. Some of us do live balanced, fulfilling and happy lives, and interact with genuinely caring and loving people.



3. "The Rabbi's Daughter" is a fascinating journey from one woman's perspective. I was interested to see how many peole were completely turned off by this book. I believe that those who were disappointed may have been looking for 'answers' from a Jewish perspective. If the novel is read in that way, I can see why there would be confusion.
   
   However, this well crafted memoir, by a flawed, caring, idealistic woman, is far more in line with Elizabeth Gilbert's "Eat, Pray, Love" than a work of Jewish philosophy or theology. This isn't a theological work to bring enlightenment. It's a very raw and real story of one woman's search for inner peace. She looked for it in drugs and sex and being a part of the modern world. She looked for it in the most restrictive forms of Hassidic Judaism. What she finds along the way is knowledge and her own sense of self and balance.
   
   I applaud Ms. Mann's bravery for telling her story.



4. Reva puts everything on the line and does not white wash anything. This book was unbelievably cathartic for me. The descriptions of her feelings and locations were incredibly vivid. It brought me back to my years attending a seminary in Jerusalem. I understood her hunger for spirituality, her desire to suppress her blemished past, and her fantasy about wanting to live a pious life. Although I never got married, I have many friends who did and now live in the ultra-orthodox world in Jerusalem. I am still not quite sure how I escaped the grip of marriage. I wish there was a bit more resolution at the end but it is a memoir, she is still living. I wish her luck and thank you.



5. My feelings toward Reva ran the gamut as I read her book. I would have given it three stars but I read it during a succession of visits to the bookstore coffee shop and found myself thinking about it in between visits. This book is pretty much a memoir of growing up with low self-esteem and its aftermath. What makes this one unique is that much of it takes place in an insulated Hassidic community. I couldn't help thinking of another very similar memoir called Beautiful Stranger by Hope Donahue. Hope also grew up with a distant father and narcissistic mother. In order to fill her chronic void Hope, who is very pretty, becomes a plastic surgery addict. Same story different setting and coping mechanism.
   
   Reva had one thing Hope didn't, a mentally handicapped older sister. Eventually their mother gets tired of taking care of the sister and puts her in an institution far away. This devastates Reva and haunts her throughout the book, even though she doesn't seem to make much effort to visit her sister. Reva seems to feel that her anxiety and loneliness problems are somehow tied to her sister's trauma. It is my personal belief that her mother's narcissistic unavailability and preoccupation with appearances (such as bullying Reva into a nose job at 16) had a lot more to do with it.
   
   First Reva tries to fill the void with drugs and promiscuity. Later she joins a Hassidic sect in an effort to atone and straighten herself out. After a series of introductions by the community's matchmaker Reva marries Simcha. They meet in hotel lobbies and take long walks because physical contact is forbidden. A lot of the young people in this book seem to feel that religious observance will conquer all of their problems and hang ups. Reva is over sexed and feeling guilty about it and looking forward to marriage. Simcha has some hang ups about sex and is trying to avoid it. They both feel that religion will provide them this outlet. She expresses her disappointment on their wedding night. The two become intimate strangers and eventually the marriage falls apart. Reva is left feeling even worse since she feels that her community blames her for her marriage's failure.
   
   I don't want to spoil the ending but Reva's mother who made such an impression on me insists on committing one last selfish act. I would recommend this book along with Beautiful Stranger to young women suffering from low self-esteem, poor family relations and interpersonal skills. They should be read as cautionary tales about quick fixes, especially external ones.